Thanks to the fine folks at the Fresno Flyer for the sweet album review and promotion of my hometown CD Release party at Full Circle Brewing! Go to the issue and read the full write-up here!
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Thanks to Atwood Magazine for premiering the official music video for Surrogate, the first single off the new album Lights Out!
"Sisterhood is an amazingly powerful thing: The truth is that our siblings are the ones who know us best, can relate to us the most, and understand what we’re going through at any impasse. They will be there for us through thick and thin, to joke with us, prod us, support us, sustain us, nurture us, and guide us through this adventure called life. Lindsay White’s “Surrogate” is a loving ode to her sister, an impassioned outpouring of warmth and vulnerability that captures the beauty and uniqueness of sibling relationships." READ MORE Here's another songwriting book club creation, inspired by The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto by Mitch Albom. I was immediately taken by the fact that the narrative unfolded largely through the telling of stories at the main character's funeral. I started thinking about mom's recent death and how people I hardly know have reached out to me with little stories about the kind of imprint she left on their lives. I thought about my own funeral and how I hope to live in a way where people might have nice things to say or funny stories to tell at my funeral. Kind of morbid stuff, but it's a good way for us all to think about the stamp we want to leave on the world. Lyrics:
Everyone’s wearing black Everyone looks so sad Everyone can be seated now Everyone ends up dead Everyone bow your heads Everyone remember CHORUS Was there a time or two or three she had you laughing Was she with you giving tissues when you cried Was she the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind? Did she give you a good story for the day she died? Everyone goes to bed Everyone ends up dead Everyone will live another day Everyone still misses Everyone reminisces Everyone has something to say CHORUS Was there a time or two or three she had you laughing Was there a moment you just had to memorize Was she the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind? Did she give you a good story for the day she died? This song is coming from a place where the character of the lover is not played by Audrie, but rather the dream I chase. That dreanever lies to me; in fact, it is always reminding me just how unattainable it is. And even if I beat the odds and found my way to this dream, it reminds me what I might have to sacrifice just to be in its presence. Sometimes you just need the dream to shut up and lie to you so you can feel better about all the time you've spent and will continue to spend trying to catch it against all better judgement. LYRICS
1. When I'm naked as the truth and I'm lying next to you I don't want your honor or your honesty I don't need a crystal ball, in fact I don't need facts at all When the night falls please uphold my policy CHORUS Don't want to hear your bad news Darling spare me your goodbyes I hate the sound of your hard truth So lay me down in your soft lies Take your finest fabrications and spread 'em Corner to corner across my bed and Tomorrow we can rise from it But tonight won't you lie in it with me 2. I can see your proof of burden staring at me, oh god it's hurting to feel doubt about the one I love the most And I know seeing is believing so let's just shut the blinds this evening And feel our way around this room with our eyes closed CHORUS One of the lingering feelings surrounding my mom's death is guilt. In my better days, I know I did my best. On my not-so-great days, I am destroyed by all the things I could have done better. Guilt is not a productive emotion...it's just a reminder of what a shitty person you are with no gentle, redeeming reminder of how to be better. This is my first attempt at telling grief to fuck off. LYRICS:
1. you really got ahold on me ooh, you sink your teeth are you ever gonna give me relief or do i gotta pry myself free CHORUS you're wearing out your welcome i don't pretend to know where you really belong i'm sorry for giving you the wrong impression but guilt get gone 2. you really set a still steel trap you and i go way way way back are you ever gonna lift that latch don't you know i got a life to catch CHORUS Here's a sample of a song that was written for the explicit purpose of processing some very personal feelings about a very specific experience. Probably not a song I'll ever play out because the verses are too specific to be relatable, but I think everyone can relate to the chorus. We all have to go through life figuring out how to let go of pain and anger. Sometimes it feels better to just throw up a white flag and peace out on a situation that doesn't feel right. Other times it feels more worthwhile to stick around and see what can be salvaged. Either way, you just gotta go with your gut. Lyrics:
1. Right this way ma'am to the finish line I was never in your lane, you were never in mine Do what you gotta do Girl go get that win Did you do it the right way? Honey let's not pretend CHORUS sometimes you must choose to lose with a shrug and a grin 2. Come with me friend to the starting line You know I got your back, I hope you still got mine Do what we gotta do to begin again I won't fight for a prize But I'll fight for a friend CHORUS This one's pretty self-explanatory. A little love letter to my wife for being just the absolute best thing a person could ever come home to. Lyrics:
Ain’t nothing new today Ain’t nothing profound to say Nothing of consequence achieved Nothing that I lost was retrieved CHORUS But I came home to you And you came home to me That’s more than a lot of folks can say There’s something to being with you At the end of a nothing kinda day Ain’t nothing crossed off the list Ain’t nothing worth my unclenched fist Nothing made work more than a check Nothing made my head less of a wreck CHORUS My former partner and bandmate recently had an article come out for her solo record, and I objectively observed how 6 jam-packed years of shared experiences with her was so easily whittled down to a few sentences. It didn't make me feel sad as much as it made me feel so distant from a place I was once neck-deep in. I started thinking about how that kind of stuff happens over and over again in our lifetimes. How stories we're so immersed in become tiny little footnotes. How each skin we shed is full of so many experiences that are just left to die in order to grow new skin. So much gets left out in order to make room for more. Who's the real author? Are we writers or our own destiny, is it fate, God, a mix? That's sort of what I'm alluding to with the whole "dot above the i" thing. Lyrics:
When the novel becomes a chapter When the chapter becomes a line When the story you’ve been chasing after Becomes once upon a time CHORUS Tear it up and let it fly Tell it to somebody in the sky Punctured and punctuated by The dot above the i When a friendship becomes a footnote When a hug becomes parentheses When the story you thought you wrote Becomes whose words were these CHORUS A simple little self-reflective song that speaks to the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves. Sorry, only audio for this one! Lyrics:
If I wore all the bells If I blew all the whistles If I drew the parallels If I called my officials Would you want me? Would you want me? If I cashed a bigger check If I cooked a better dinner If I slept more or less If I went to bed a winner Would you want me? Would you want me? If I lost all the weight If I started medication If I stopped to meditate If I understood creation Would you want me? Would you want me? This one is kind of about how you (or people consoling you) try to rationalize and stay positive in grief. I try to tell myself to feel better because a lot people have it a lot worse. For example, I often think "don't be too sad about all that debt; some people don't even have a credit card" or "don't be too sad you had a shitty relationship with your mom as an adult; at least you had a good childhood and a lot of people don't even get that." Problem is, sometimes this makes you feel worse. It's like adding a thick layer of guilt to a grief sandwich. Soooo, I've been feeling some of the depression more now since the initial shock has worn off. I know (I hope) I'll climb out of that but it can be more comfortable and comforting to hang out with the familiar/negative stuff than exert the energy required to find the positive. Depression contradicts with all the things we learn about trying to be a good, virtuous person, so I leaned on some imagery about Justice, Prudence, Courage, etc. to try and illustrate how they don't quite matter or even make a whole lot of sense in my current reality. Grief/loss is a pretty prevalent theme in my songwriting, but it's just extra raw right now. Hence the crying. Lyrics
1. I’ve got nothing left I can balance on That lady with the blindfold is gone Her scale and her sword have nothing more to say It was just us then, it’s just me now Where’s the justice in time running out I’m trying to transcend but it sinks further in every day CHOURUS So I keep company with well-known cons I’m confident they’re my confidants And the pros won’t speak to me They are prone to secrecy And I don’t know if I’ll ever get through it Cause I’ve been the only one swearing them to it 2. There’s no wisdom now, no prudence here If I’m reckless or cautious, I really don’t care This snake and this mirror just slithered nearer to prey I don’t feel courage and I’m not in control I can’t produce faith and I won’t be consoled And I’m losing all hope that I’ll ever know better todays |
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