Hi friends - Here's a new song hot off the press! This song was inspired by my latest songwriter book club selection, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, as well as the song prompt "How to be a Winner when you Lose" provided by Eagles songwriter Jack Tempchin for next month's "The Game" event hosted by Listen Local Radio. The book Big Magic advises artsits to ditch the notion of suffering for your work or relying on a positive outcome/review to feel fulfilled as an artist. Gilbert proposes that by making yourself more attractive to "Big Magic" (the supernatural form of inspiration that we creative-types all lust after) via a courageous mindset, a diligent work ethic, and a positive attitude, you will find more inspiration and joy in the process of creating as a whole. As someone who writes a lot about loss, grief, anxiety, fear, and fun things like that, I had a tough time swallowing this pill of a book. I understand and agree with the big picture version of Gilbert's concepts, particularly the idea of finding peace by detaching from outcome. I don't want to be a mARTyr (I just made that up) as a human or a songwriter, but I do think it's important to create art about human suffering. I have healthily processed so many difficult experiences both as a creator and a listener of this type of music. I guess I don't really know how to create this type of work from a non-suffery place. I sat down to write a song with the book in mind, and it ended up sounding like I was pleading my case to the author yet trying to come around by subscribing to her logic. The last lines for the chorus were originally: "seems like big magic's only big hat trick is disappearing with my heart...and if she ever comes around again she won't catch me suffering in the name of art." I knew that, for me, that last line was a total lie. Inspiration will most definitely catch me suffering again. That's where she always finds me, actually. So imagine my delight when I read the song prompt "How to be a Winner when you Lose." This was the missing piece I needed to get on board with my new song. It allowed me create space for the light without completely ignoring the tunnel. Hope you enjoy! Hear it live on January 19th at Brick 15 in Del Mar! Lyrics:
1. it's not like I was asking loss to be my best friend but she stuck around when the chips were down i've always found her at the bitter end it's not like I've forgotten where the doors are or how to knock them i quite like the sound of the pavement pounding underneath the steps of my ambition CHORUS i wanted big magic, the kind of life that shoots across the sky lighting up the dark i've got this book of matches wet with regret, splintered with time and i can't find the spark seems like big magic's only big hat trick is to go when she knows you blew a fuse she'll leave you sitting in the dim learning how to be a winner when you lose 2. it's not like I'm complaining about the waxing and the waning i prefer the rise and fall of a curve ball i'm always honored by her visitation it's not like i am choiceless or powerless or voiceless but i feel so weak, it gets hard to speak in the ruthless furnace of expectation CHORUS
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Hi friends - I'm excited to share a new song with you based on the latest book selection for my songwriter book club. The book was Slade House by David Mitchell. This was my first pseudo-spooky read. I'm not normally into things that go bump in the night, but I think my songwriting shield helped protect me from getting too spooked! I drew a majority of inspiration from the novel's surrealism, paired with the antagonists’ pragmatic approach to survival via deception. One particular line stuck out to me in the first chapter, when the first victim – a lonely, socially abnormal young boy – is unwittingly lured into the trap by a new playmate. “Maybe this is like having a friend.” It was a moving line that reminded me how willing, even desperate, we are to put our trust and faith in the promise of a meaningful relationship, sometimes against our own better judgement. Victim after victim, this theme was reinforced in the story and it resonated with my own experiences with suffering and survival. How many times have I made a logical decision for my own survival that caused an innocent person pain? How many times have the roles been reversed and I was the one who felt the blows? One scenario seems unfortunate but necessary; the other seems cruel and unfair. I have been both soul-sucker, and the sucked-soul. This song is written from both perspectives…a purposely muddled narrative culminating in a final question…what do you give or give up in order to get or get through? Lyrics:
1. Sit still, don't breathe This is how you leave - you have been deceived Nostrils flare, scare eyes You can't event cry - you are paralyzed CHORUS The fleeting fox, the hunting hound Chase each other around Was it real, or just pretend? Tell me this isn't all there is to being a friend 2. Deceased, you feast Tell me how I taste at least Pursed lips, time drips - what a winning waste of a losing grip CHORUS 3. Detect, report Truth and lies distort - where's my life support Refuge, refugee This is how you flee - showing no mercy CHORUS |
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