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LINDSAY WHITE

THIS JUST IN

Lindsay White Performs "Run" on BPM Live Sessions

2/2/2019

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Thanks to Brendan McCourt and BPM Live Sessions for featuring me on their series. Here's a look at "Run" - a song I wrote about how anxiety wreaks havoc in my life sometimes. Enjoy, and try not to have a panic attack. 
Lyrics:
1. one drop of water and the lake still shakes
stomping my boots but the mud's still caked
i gotta find a way to let this go
a pile of bricks sticking to my chest
weighing me down, they will not decongest
i tried to kill this ache but still it grows

chorus
how do i breathe now? 
there's no air in my lungs
how do i climb down?
this ladder's out of rungs
how do i slow down?
when all i ever did was
all i ever did was run?

2. should i be drinking?now, well probably not
order a whiskey cause it's worth a shot
maybe i'll drown this fear before it drowns me
trouble with worry is it won't get gone
cause you can never put your finger on
something you feel but you can not see

repeat chorus
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Behind the Song - This Flame (Melt With You)

11/28/2018

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During the recent coverage of the California wildfires, I read about two people who were found burned beyond recognition trying to escape. I’ve been sick to my stomach imagining what it might have been like to lose everything, even your life. I can’t stop picturing myself in a car with my wife in the same situation. What would I even say, knowing I was unable to keep her safe? My heart bleeds for all the families suffering. I sat down to write this song, and ended up incorporating a bit of the Modern English song "Melt With You" into the chorus. 
Lyrics:

​fire’s coming round the mountain, babe, 
start running for the car 
no time for family photo albums, records, or guitars 
freeewheelin’ dylan was my savior but I cannot return the favor 
i know them all my heart anyways 
they’ll be blowin’ in the wind after the blaze 

you’re the only thing that i refuse to lose 
even driving toward death’s door, you’re my refuge 
when the world stops burning, this flame will continue 
and i’ll melt with you 


smoke’s clouding up our eyes, babe, open your ears and try to hear me 
they may not recognize our bodies but I’ve memorized your spirit 
leaving life is really scary but skin and bones are temporary 
my love for you’s the only truth that stays 
it will be blowin’ in the wind after the blaze 


you’re the only thing that i refuse to lose 
even driving toward death’s door, you’re my refuge 
when the world stops burning, this flame will continue 
and i’ll melt with you ​​
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Behind the Song - Red Today

11/28/2018

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I wrote this song in honor of a young friend, Tyler Hastings, whose funeral I recently attended. Most of the attendees were fellow Red Cross workers, all wearing their red shirts in honor of him. Red is usually such an aggressive color, but on this day, I saw it through a softer lens and decided to write about it in the context of mourning and celebration of life. Tyler was one of my Patreon supporters, and he never failed to offer encouragement and humor, not just to me, but to everyone around him. I'm very thankful to have known him. 
Lyrics:
red today, i’m seeing red today
i’m seeing red today 
not in an angry way 
red like a cross that saves on disastrous days 
or a heart that loves in fantastic ways 
read like the cartoons when you’re searching for laughter 
red like a curtain that falls from the rafters 
at the end of a play, we all make our way off the stage 

and i don’t pretend to be certain 
but i’m pretty sure that curtain will rise again 
it’s just a matter of when 
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Behind the Song - Like Home (This Ain't No Place)

11/28/2018

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Yet another song about the current state of leadership (or lack thereof) in our country. When I say “we ain’t worth keeping” I certainly don’t mean human life isn’t worth anything. I mean that when we treat life as meaningless (either our own, or other groups of people), or when we demonstrate with our words and actions a belief that money/power is more important than the well-being of life/the planet, there are severe consequences, and we’re seeing those consequences play out in our society daily. I am so saddened by where we are but also not in the least bit surprised based on our choices/actions as a society. It doesn’t take a genius to realize a Trump presidency was going to produce the circling-the-drain reality we wake up to every morning.
I believe our country is diseased, and in order to cure that disease, I think we should promote education, celebrate diversity, encourage and applaud service, provide all people with the food, housing, healthcare, and mental health services they need, respect all religion (or no religion) while firmly separating it from our government, put down our defenses, be willing to listen, and acknowledge the hurt and fear we all feel. Above all we need to take ownership of the the ways we individually contribute to other people’s suffering even when we don’t intend to or aren’t aware of it. In a nutshell, we have to take care of each other.
Until we all collectively decide that money and power are not worth the countless innocent lives lost to senseless acts of hate and violence, we will just continue to be desensitized to the skyrocketing probability that we, our someone we love, will be shot and killed in public by a stranger with a gun. The “getting used to it” is our body/brain’s way of coping with trauma. I hope in my lifetime, we rise up, fight that numbness, fight that greed, and make every sacrifice possible to show that we value human life more than we value wealth/power, comfort, and convenience.
Lyrics

​this is what we get

this is who we are
we’re the tin man who ran
away from a heart

this is who we are
it’s easy to explain
we’re the scarecrow who said no
to a brain

you see, that rug is getting bigger
the broom is getting thicker
we ain’t worth keeping, so it’s sweeping us under
we’re reaping what we’ve sown
this ain’t no place like home 

this is what we get
this is what we’ve become
we’re the wicked and the cowardly 
just eating up our young

this is who we are
this is what we get
ain’t no yellow brick gonna get
us out of it

and that rug is getting bigger
that broom is getting thicker
we ain’t worth keeping, so it’s sweeping us under
we’re reaping what we’ve sown
this ain’t no place like home
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Behind the Song - Halloween Since 2016 (boo)

10/30/2018

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As we approached Halloween and the midterm elections, I had this thought in my head about how it's felt like Halloween since Trump got elected...just kinda feels like the country's been circling the drain for the past 2 years. I just chuckled and thought it'd make a silly spoof song, but didn't actually write and record it til the administration started bullying the trans community and pipe bombs started going out in the mail addressed to prominent Democrats. Right after I posted this some American terrorist murdered a bunch of elderly Jews in a synagogue. Like I said, scary fucking times. Which is why, even though this is a spoof, I don't look like I'm having very much fun. 
To the tune of "Lil' Red Riding Hood" by Sam Sham & The Pharaohs.

Lyrics:
it's been halloween ever since 2016
trump makes freddy seem like a nice daydream (boo)
talk about doom & gloom when you can't afford the emergency room
and you're terrified w/ chills cause your wages won't pay the bills

what big lies they tell
i'd rather live at the bates motel
than watch my country slip away
to the nra & the kkk
what big hypocrites
getting rich for the apocalypse
i gotta say, it's a scary day
now that putting kids in cages is the christian way

it's been halloween ever since 2016
trump makes freddy seem like a nice daydream (boo)
talk about horrifying putting predators in power and ignoring science
when every fox news line sends a shiver up & down my spine (boo)

what big lies they have
i'd rather jason chase me in a hockey mask
than watch rights get stripped away
for brown, trans, female, homeless, poor, or gay
what big hypocrites
placing blame on the journalists
aspiring to be like our enemies
& conspiring to murder our democracy

it's been halloween ever since 2016
trump makes freddy seem like a nice daydream (boo)
here's what we're gonna do listen up now i'm talking to you
this red's gonna kill us dead so please vote blue


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Behind the Song - High Horse

9/29/2018

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I wrote this song as I was glued to this week's hearing with Dr. Blasey Ford and Brett Kavanaugh. Wow, so many feels. I cried, I yelled, I threw things. I know at the end of the day this guy will probably be confirmed, and that makes me angry because I think there are probably better people for the job. But overall, I just have an overwhelming sense of pride for Dr. Blasey Ford's bravery. It's hard to believe in 2018 that it's still so difficult for women to be taken seriously. But regardless of the outcome, she is helping to change a toxic culture, and for that I thank her. This song is dedicated to Dr. Blasey Ford and any other survivor who has had to put up with this shit week. (And if you don't think I'm being sensitive enough to what Kavanaugh has gone through, here are my thoughts on that).
Lyrics:

why you trying so hard to rein me in?
you whistle when i trot, but not when i’m galloping
is it getting out of hand, am i getting too wild?
is it a shame i’m so untamed, so unbridled?

i climbed up on my high horse
cause it wasn’t safe to come down
but i kinda miss the feeling
of my feet running on the ground
i don’t have no remorse
cause i now got a better view
i’ll gladly dismount
when i can start counting on you
until you stop hurting me,
i’ve been saddled with a burden you see
that’s the only reason why
i climbed up on my high horse


you think i’m chomping at the bit
i’m just trying to help you out
you’re trying to throw me off
trying to kick me in the mouth
you wish i would just stay in the stable
laying in the hay
you don’t want no trouble
long as i’m not in the way
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Behind the Song - Ego

9/20/2018

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This song was the near-immediate result of how icky I felt after a songwriting critique. Many kind things were said, but the recurring "critique" part of the exchange was that my songs lacked focused themes and clear/streamlined perspectives. All in all it was a mixed bag, but I walked away from the experience feeling a little bit misunderstood as a songwriter. It made me think a lot about compromise. What am I willing to budge on as an artist in order to "level up" in the industry? It's a tough question to chew on, especially since I've never written with that goal in mind. It's kind of like how no one goes to therapy or AA thinking that they're going to get anything out of it other than one more day of survival. But on the flip side, I've been trying to gain listeners and earn money with this gig for years. Am I willing to sacrifice what I cherish about the songwriting process  in order to potentially grow my audience and effin' net worth for a change? I don't know. My gut tells me I'd rather be poor for the rest of my life than change the way I write. Not to be dramatic, but I might actually rather be dead. I value constructive criticism (especially when coming from women in the industry) but I kept thinking how my songwriting hero Bob Dylan would probably never be caught dead asking someone to critique his 11-minute songs featuring 20 different characters and abstract AF imagery. Anyway, this all got me thinking about my ego- sometimes protective, sometimes possessive. But always there.
are you my friend
are you my enemy
remember when
you used to take good care of me
lately you’ve been
treating me unbearably

ego, ego
please let me know
where did we go off track
ego, ego
you got my brain
do you got my back

are you Jekyll or Hyde
it’s still not clear to me
are you on my side
or just tired of being near to me
are you satisfied
you got another tear from me

ego, ego 
please let me know 
where did we go off track 
ego, ego 
you got my brain 
do you got my back

we’re gonna have to make things right
you gotta let me have a say
cause we can’t keep having this fight
and i can’t live this way

​ego, ego 
please let me know 
where did we go off track 
ego, ego 
you got my brain 
do you got my back
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Behind the Song - I Didn't Ask You

9/6/2018

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This here's a little ditty about the patriarchy. On a personal level, I'm noticing that every time a express myself with the realm of my little digital real estate (FB page, etc.), there is ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS some dude trying to tell me how I'm wrong or how I'd be better if only just blah blah blah. On a socio-political level, I'm just really sick of the patriarchy, y'all. Like, enough, already. I'm so ready for women to be in charge of shit, it's not even funny anymore. If you disagree with me, that's cool. But here's a song I wrote about it since I don't disagree with me. :) 
Lyrics:

you say, girl i like it fast
i say, boy that don’t surprise me
for what it’s worth i didn’t even ask
but you just gotta advise me
i’m not hoping i’m not wishing
i’m not asking for permission
you keep talking i’m not listening
my existence ain’t on trial
here comes that crazy bitch again
why does she get sensitive when
you tell her she’d look better
if she’d only fucking smile

i didn’t ask you (woah)
how you see me (ooh)
i don’t need you (boy)
just to be me (yeah)

you say, girl you’re so emotional
i say, boy you’re just afraid of
living in a world where you’re losing control
you cower in the power that i’m made of
but it’s physical, political,
emotional and spiritual
it’s sexual, perpetual, habitual assault
here comes that short skirt argument
why does she get sensitive when
you put your hands all over her
​and tell her it’s her fault
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Behind the Song - Time is on the Way

8/24/2018

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This one was inspired by my recent cross-country tour. When I got home, I was feeling pretty discouraged about life, career, etc. Every time I get home from tour, I start to question everything. What am I even doing? Does anyone care? Why do I continue what feels like an abusive relationship with music? It took a couple days, but my perspective started to shift and I felt very lucky to have just been on this wonderful trip where I was able to meet new people, play new venues, and experience beautiful nature. I gave myself a little pep talk to remind myself what my late friend Jeffrey Joe used to tell me: "time takes time." I've been so into treating time as a thief over the last couple years, but I'm finally starting to turn a corner and see it as something that can help me heal and grow. I was recently told in a songwriting critique that the hook "Time is on the Way" wasn't very strong, but for the first time in in a very long time, time is becoming my friend again. It fills my heart and gives me hope to sing that phrase over and over again. I hope it gives you the same feeling. 
is the weight of the world wreaking its havoc
is the state of affairs so scary it hurts
is that venomous voice in your head automatic
just letting you have it
making you feel like dirt

baby you're the damn grand canyon
baby you're a big great lake
you got that majesty, that beauty
you can see from outerspace
all those tall sequoias
they didn't grow in just one day
you know a landmark kind of life takes time
and time is on the way
time is on the way
carving marvels out of clay
yeah time is on the way

is the hardest part of your day in the morning
turn on your phone, feel alone, and lament
does the pressure you feel steal your breath without warning
feel that furrowed brow forming
making you feel irrelevant

baby you're the damn grand canyon 

baby you're a big great lake 
you got that majesty, that beauty 
you can see from outerspace 
all those tall sequoias 
they didn't grow in just one day 
you know a landmark kind of life takes time 
and time is on the way 
time is on the way 
carving marvels out of clay 
yeah time is on the way 
time is on the way
coming round to save the day
so slow down, let it pave the way
​yeah time is on the way
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Behind the Song - The Magic's In Me (Inspired by Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi)

6/20/2018

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Welcome to another edition of Behind the Song. This one's been brewing in my head ever since I finished reading Tomi Adeyemi's new book Children of Blood and Bone. It's a Young Adult novel, but the themes are so relevant for today's society, I highly recommend it for all ages. On a cultural level, there are so many parallels in Adeyemi's alternate reality, it almost doesn't feel alternate. On a personal level, there is so much mother-daughter-grief stuff going on, I had to keep the tissues handy at all times. One particular section of the book punched me right in the throat...the main character Zélie has a cosmic conversation with her late mother.  A song: "mama, mama, mama" leads Zélie to the spirit of her mother. I shit you not, this is what my sister and I sang to my mother during that grueling 6 days where she slipped away from us. Zélie's mother tells her daughter how proud she is of her and that she will never leave her side. For those of you who've followed my challenging relationship with my mom, you know how desperate I was to hear these words from my own mother. And it might sound silly, but in reading this book, it felt like I finally did. Everything is connected, people. It's like my own dead mama summoned me and set me straight through the voice of a fictional dead mama. What are the odds? I don't know, but I'll take it. When I set down to write this song, I wanted to write not only about the energy that connects all beings, but also about the love, positivity and resilience that grows out of powering through fear, grief, and trauma. Resilience is such a powerful gift because it softens and hardens us at the same time. The more resilience we have, the more we are able to show compassion and open our minds to people/experiences we may not be familiar with. But at the same time, it strengthens our convictions and helps us advocate for the powerless/voiceless. This is what I wanted to capture in the song. I also wanted it to feel epic and cinematic....you know, just in case they are looking for songs to put in the movie. A girl can dream.
i’ve been reading all the signs on the wall 
i’ve been staring at the stars in the sky 
i’ve been wondering if this road leads anywhere at all 
if it ended in demise, i would not be surprised 
but that doesn’t mean i’m not willing to fight 
i’m calling all the strength in me i need to survive 
there’s a fire in me i just need to ignite 
i’ve been fumbling in the dark, looking for a spark of light 

it’s in the sunrise, It’s in the sunset it’s in the thrill of the unknown
every heartache, every mistake it’s in our blood, it’s in our bones
every sand of desert, every strand of hair the magic’s there
hanging in the balance of the valleys and peaks if you listen, magic speaks
Oya, Oya, the magic’s in me
Oya, Oya, the magic’s in me
Oya, Oya, the magic’s in me
Oya, Oya 


you’ve been telling me bout star-crossed love
you’ve been selling me on shakespeare
i've been wondering if love alone will ever be enough
cause i know there’s so much more at stake here
but that doesn’t mean i’m not willing to try
i’m calling on the strength in me just to look in those eyes
there’s a fire in me, i just need to ignite
i had such a heavy heart, i’m trying to do my part to make it light
​
don't you see, don't you see, don't you see
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  • Home
  • LIVE
  • INFO
  • HEAR
  • SHOP
  • BLOG
  • MEDIA RESOURCES
  • PATREON
  • LYRICS
  • PRESS
  • QULYN JOURNALS
  • CONTACT
    • CONTENT CREATION AND DESIGN
    • CUSTOM SONGWRITING
    • HOUSE CONCERTS
    • FESTIVALS AND CONFERENCES
    • SONGWRITING WORKSHOPS
    • WEDDINGS AND PRIVATE EVENTS
    • YOUTH, LGBT, WOMEN AND LEADERSHIP EVENTS
  • CHOOSING RIVER
  • THE LOVEBIRDS