Just finished this in time for my songwriting book club meeting. It was inspired by the book Pronoia by Spencer Brezsny. His primary thesis is that the universe is conspiring in our favor. For the most part I agree with this theory and the author's content, but I didn't love the presentation so much. Or maybe I just wasn't in the mood to "go there" with him. In any case, I found it amusing that I've been trying to turn a corner on my cynical songwriting, and here was an author showing me a trillion examples of optimism, yet I just kept rolling my eyes at the way the book was structured. I had Dylan's song Idiot Wind in mind the whole time. Instead of trying to stifle my cynicism, I just let myself bask in it for the sake of the song. It was kind of fun to give myself permission to do that. Who knows, maybe I subconsciously learned that lesson from the book!

i've had enough of you
i've had enough of you
i sure wish your mouth came with some glue
cause i've had enough of you

it's not what you say but the way that you state it
it's not what you serve up but the way that you plate it
i'm already fed up 'fore i see the menu 
yes i've had enough of you

you're like a book i can't read
you're like a book i can't read
the day i put you down was the day i was freed
yeah you're like a book i can't read

each word so much worse than the last
i curse every page and skim past
all this stuff, it's just fluff, a marshmallow stampede
yeah you're like a book i can't read

i concur with your scorn for my cynical ways
it's a lazy and boring disguise
but the soapbox you stand on takes up too much space
and it's taking a toll on the roll on my eyes

when that idiot wind starts to blow
when that idiot wind starts to blow
i always take it as my cue to go
when that idiot wind starts to blow

i don't like to watch when the emperor streaks
or the way that the breath of a bragging man reeks
i'm covering my eyes, i'm plugging my nose
when that idiot wind starts to blow

Excuse me while I fangirl out a little bit, but best-selling author Mitch Albom (Tuesdays With Morrie, The Five People You Meet in Heaven) gave me a shout-out today on his Facebook page, sharing a song I recently wrote influenced by his latest book The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto. How cool is that?! Listen to the song here and find the book here.

Check out this month's issue of San Diego Troubadour for a great interview and writeup about the new album Lights Out. I love how Lizzie Wann was able to weave together two of my passions (music and boxing). Shout-out to Title Boxing Club North Park! Plus, I got to talk about how much I love my wifey:

“Audrie supported me through what now seems like an obvious realization that I deserve to be happy, and I’ve been bonkers in love with her ever since.” READ MORE

Here's another songwriting book club creation, inspired by The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto by Mitch Albom. I was immediately taken by the fact that the narrative unfolded largely through the telling of stories at the main character's funeral. I started thinking about mom's recent death and how people I hardly know have reached out to me with little stories about the kind of imprint she left on their lives. I thought about my own funeral and how I hope to live in a way where people might have nice things to say or funny stories to tell at my funeral. Kind of morbid stuff, but it's a good way for us all to think about the stamp we want to leave on the world. 

Lyrics:

Everyone’s wearing black
Everyone looks so sad
Everyone can be seated now
Everyone ends up dead
Everyone bow your heads
Everyone remember

CHORUS
Was there a time or two or three she had you laughing
Was she with you giving tissues when you cried
Was she the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind?
Did she give you a good story for the day she died?

Everyone goes to bed
Everyone ends up dead
Everyone will live another day
Everyone still misses
Everyone reminisces 
Everyone has something to say

CHORUS
Was there a time or two or three she had you laughing
Was there a moment you just had to memorize
Was she the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind?
Did she give you a good story for the day she died?

Hi friends - Here's a new song hot off the press! This song was inspired by my latest songwriter book club selection, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, as well as the song prompt "How to be a Winner when you Lose" provided by Eagles songwriter Jack Tempchin for next month's "The Game" event hosted by Listen Local Radio.

The book Big Magic advises artsits to ditch the notion of suffering for your work or relying on a positive outcome/review to feel fulfilled as an artist. Gilbert proposes that by making yourself more attractive to "Big Magic" (the supernatural form of inspiration that we creative-types all lust after) via a courageous mindset, a diligent work ethic, and a positive attitude, you will find more inspiration and joy in the process of creating as a whole.

As someone who writes a lot about loss, grief, anxiety, fear, and fun things like that, I had a tough time swallowing this pill of a book. I understand and agree with the big picture version of Gilbert's concepts, particularly the idea of finding peace by detaching from outcome. I don't want to be a mARTyr (I just made that up) as a human or a songwriter, but I do think it's important to create art about human suffering. I have healthily processed so many difficult experiences both as a creator and a listener of this type of music. I guess I don't really know how to create this type of work from a non-suffery place. 

I sat down to write a song with the book in mind, and it ended up sounding like I was pleading my case to the author yet trying to come around by subscribing to her logic. The last lines for the chorus were originally: "seems like big magic's only big hat trick is disappearing with my heart...and if she ever comes around again she won't catch me suffering in the name of art."

I knew that, for me, that last line was a total lie. Inspiration will most definitely catch me suffering again. That's where she always finds me, actually. So imagine my delight when I read the song prompt "How to be a Winner when you Lose." This was the missing piece I needed to get on board with my new song. It allowed me create space for the light without completely ignoring the tunnel. Hope you enjoy! Hear it live on January 19th at Brick 15 in Del Mar!

Lyrics:

1. it's not like I was asking loss to be my best friend
but she stuck around when the chips were down
i've always found her at the bitter end

it's not like I've forgotten where the doors are or how to knock them
i quite like the sound of the pavement pounding
underneath the steps of my ambition

CHORUS
i wanted big magic,
the kind of life that shoots across the sky
lighting up the dark
i've got this book of matches
wet with regret, splintered with time
and i can't find the spark
seems like big magic's only big hat trick
is to go when she knows you blew a fuse
she'll leave you sitting in the dim
learning how to be a winner when you lose

2. it's not like I'm complaining about the waxing and the waning
i prefer the rise and fall of a curve ball
i'm always honored by her visitation

it's not like i am choiceless or powerless or voiceless
but i feel so weak, it gets hard to speak
in the ruthless furnace of expectation

CHORUS

Hi friends - I'm excited to share a new song with you based on the latest book selection for my songwriter book club. The book was Slade House by David Mitchell. This was my first pseudo-spooky read. I'm not normally into things that go bump in the night, but I think my songwriting shield helped protect me from getting too spooked!

I drew a majority of inspiration from the novel's surrealism, paired with the antagonists’ pragmatic approach to survival via deception. One particular line stuck out to me in the first chapter, when the first victim – a lonely, socially abnormal young boy – is unwittingly lured into the trap by a new playmate. “Maybe this is like having a friend.” It was a moving line that reminded me how willing, even desperate, we are to put our trust and faith in the promise of a meaningful relationship, sometimes against our own better judgement. Victim after victim, this theme was reinforced in the story and it resonated with my own experiences with suffering and survival. How many times have I made a logical decision for my own survival that caused an innocent person pain? How many times have the roles been reversed and I was the one who felt the blows? One scenario seems unfortunate but necessary; the other seems cruel and unfair. I have been both soul-sucker, and the sucked-soul.

This song is written from both perspectives…a purposely muddled narrative culminating in a final question…what do you give or give up in order to get or get through?