Not one, but two podcasts featuring yours truly premiered today! Hope you listen to both in entirety, but if you want to skip around, I took the liberty of breaking down each episode for you below. Both The Dusty Futon and Unstarving Musician podcasts are wonderful supporters of local/indie music. Since I always get asked about my beginnings in the music industry, you'll see I talk about some similar topics, but the flavor of each show is totally different, which is what makes podcasts so cool! I definitely recommend subscribing and browsing some of their past episodes!

Dusty Futon
3:54 - When I Started Playing Music
8:06 - Coming Out/Getting Married Young/Therapy
10:05 - Cathryn Beeks/Listen Local San Diego
11:10 - "Surrogate" w/ Commentary
13:38 - Studio Studios/Alex Dausch
15:03 - Boxing
16:06 - Touring/Performing
17:00 - Multitasking
17:18 - Anxiety / Mental Health
19:20 - Winning a San Diego Music Award
21:50 - The Lovebirds
25:20 - "My Beast" w/ Commentary
30:10 - How I Started Playing Guitar / My Writing Process
35:07 - Music Influences
37:30 - Kleenex Jingles and Taxes
41:50 - "Rubber Band Gun" w/ Commentary (& Crying)

Unstarving Musician

4:50 - Amy & Gary's House Concerts
6:38 - When I Started Pursuing Music 
8:22 - Side Hustles
10:40 - Basketball / Boxing
12:26 - More Side Hustles
14:30 - Rye Room Sessions / "Deep Dark Down"
16:20 - Studio Studios / Alex Dausch 
20:13 - Tracks vs. Lights Out
22: 55 - Not Giving AF About Genres
24:23 - Gratitude Journaling / Anxiety / Insomnia
31:44 - From Central California to San Diego
34:00 - Basketball vs. Music / Music Therapy
36:20 - New Music / What's Next
37:27 - Writing Faster Than I Can Record
38:40 - Moving Past Grief / Raging Feminism
40:20 - Writing Routine / Songwriting Book Club
43:45 - Songwriting Groups / Peers
46:16 - Folk Festivals & House Concerts
47:30 - Tenacity, Patience, & Resilience
51:05 - Touring
54:38 - "Surrogate"

Thanks to my friends at Global Texan Chronicles for adding me to their Autumn Playlist on Spotify! Hope you give it a listen when you get a chance! (And maybe add one of my songs to one of your playlists while you're at it! Makes me look good in the eyes of Spotify curators when y'all do that!)

I wrote this song as I was glued to this week's hearing with Dr. Blasey Ford and Brett Kavanaugh. Wow, so many feels. I cried, I yelled, I threw things. I know at the end of the day this guy will probably be confirmed, and that makes me angry because I think there are probably better people for the job. But overall, I just have an overwhelming sense of pride for Dr. Blasey Ford's bravery. It's hard to believe in 2018 that it's still so difficult for women to be taken seriously. But regardless of the outcome, she is helping to change a toxic culture, and for that I thank her. This song is dedicated to Dr. Blasey Ford and any other survivor who has had to put up with this shit week. (And if you don't think I'm being sensitive enough to what Kavanaugh has gone through, here are my thoughts on that).

Last post, I announced the premiere of the "Deep Dark Down" live video recorded for The Rye Room Sessions in Portland, OR. Here's the second session we did for "Not a Boy." Both of these songs are on the album Lights Out currently available on iTunes, Spotify, etc. 

This song was the near-immediate result of how icky I felt after a songwriting critique. Many kind things were said, but the recurring "critique" part of the exchange was that my songs lacked focused themes and clear/streamlined perspectives. All in all it was a mixed bag, but I walked away from the experience feeling a little bit misunderstood as a songwriter. It made me think a lot about compromise. What am I willing to budge on as an artist in order to "level up" in the industry? It's a tough question to chew on, especially since I've never written with that goal in mind. It's kind of like how no one goes to therapy or AA thinking that they're going to get anything out of it other than one more day of survival. But on the flip side, I've been trying to gain listeners and earn money with this gig for years. Am I willing to sacrifice what I cherish about the songwriting process  in order to potentially grow my audience and effin' net worth for a change? I don't know. My gut tells me I'd rather be poor for the rest of my life than change the way I write. Not to be dramatic, but I might actually rather be dead. I value constructive criticism (especially when coming from women in the industry) but I kept thinking how my songwriting hero Bob Dylan would probably never be caught dead asking someone to critique his 11-minute songs featuring 20 different characters and abstract AF imagery. Anyway, this all got me thinking about my ego- sometimes protective, sometimes possessive. But always there.

are you my friend
are you my enemy
remember when
you used to take good care of me
lately you’ve been
treating me unbearably

ego, ego
please let me know
where did we go off track
ego, ego
you got my brain
do you got my back

are you Jekyll or Hyde
it’s still not clear to me
are you on my side
or just tired of being near to me
are you satisfied
you got another tear from me

ego, ego 
please let me know 
where did we go off track 
ego, ego 
you got my brain 
do you got my back

we’re gonna have to make things right
you gotta let me have a say
cause we can’t keep having this fight
and i can’t live this way

​ego, ego 
please let me know 
where did we go off track 
ego, ego 
you got my brain 
do you got my back

This here's a little ditty about the patriarchy. On a personal level, I'm noticing that every time a express myself with the realm of my little digital real estate (FB page, etc.), there is ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS some dude trying to tell me how I'm wrong or how I'd be better if only just blah blah blah. On a socio-political level, I'm just really sick of the patriarchy, y'all. Like, enough, already. I'm so ready for women to be in charge of shit, it's not even funny anymore. If you disagree with me, that's cool. But here's a song I wrote about it since I don't disagree with me. :) 

Thanks to the folks at Vortex Music Magazine for premiering this live video of "Deep Dark Down," recorded for The Rye Room Sessions in Portland, OR. So glad my producer Alex Dausch of Studio Studios was able to accompany me on this PNW trip and make my song sound so dreamy. Check out the full interview and video here. ​For complete lyrics to these and other songs, visit my lyrics page.

If you enjoy this song, please consider supporting my career by listening on Spotify, iTunes, and other online retailers. You can also purchase a physical copy of the album here. 

This one was inspired by my recent cross-country tour. When I got home, I was feeling pretty discouraged about life, career, etc. Every time I get home from tour, I start to question everything. What am I even doing? Does anyone care? Why do I continue what feels like an abusive relationship with music? It took a couple days, but my perspective started to shift and I felt very lucky to have just been on this wonderful trip where I was able to meet new people, play new venues, and experience beautiful nature. I gave myself a little pep talk to remind myself what my late friend Jeffrey Joe used to tell me: "time takes time." I've been so into treating time as a thief over the last couple years, but I'm finally starting to turn a corner and see it as something that can help me heal and grow. I was recently told in a songwriting critique that the hook "Time is on the Way" wasn't very strong, but for the first time in in a very long time, time is becoming my friend again. It fills my heart and gives me hope to sing that phrase over and over again. I hope it gives you the same feeling. 

Thanks to everyone (and there are so many of you!) who made the Lights Out 2018 Summer Tour a really fun experience! My awful photography skills don't do it justice, but I wanted to make a little recap vid to show my kids someday. Here is 7Kish miles in 3ish minutes.

PS - The background song is called "I Carry You" off the album Lights Out. If you like it, please stream/download/purchase where music is available!

I'm home from tour, and I'm excited to announce that my first local show will be this incredible fundraiser event for LifeSpring Voices. Organized by North County Lifeline, this program's mission is to help former foster youth transition out of the system. I couldn't be happier to contribute and attend - hope you are able to join us and/or donate toward this cause!