Hi friends! I'm back so quick with a new single, are you finding me to be impressive yet? Haha.
"Piece of Quiet" is another pandemic-inspired, anxiety-riddled bop about being so, so, so desperate for a little sliver of peace during such a tumultuous and traumatic time. I'm feeling much better now than when I wrote the tune, and I credit that with a commitment I made to creating some quiet and stillness in my life. (As I write this, my neighbor's chainsaw screams away. Apparently, he's coping with the pandemic through wood work...we all have our things I guess.)
Anyway, when I get quiet, sometimes that looks like getting off my phone, sometimes it looks like meditating, or reading, or writing. There is a lot of comfort to be found in going within. I hope this song helps you do that in some small way.
The song is available now (along with lyrics and art) for direct download in the store, which is by far the best way to support, or on all the streamy thingies. Special thanks to Jules Stewart (drums), Amelia Sarkisian (mixing/mastering), with single art by Shy the Artist using original photography by Sydney Valiente. As always, big, big love to my Lindsay's Corner fam for their continued support.
Image description: Single artwork by Shy the Artist features a collage with light gray text that reads “Piece of Quiet” overlaid on a blue cloudy landscape. The focal point is a photo (by Sydney Valiente) of Lindsay wearing a white shirt and black pants. She is seated with her arms out to either side and her long brown hair falls over her left shoulder. Bunches of pink flowers cover her face and surround her body.
Hi my friends. It's release day! My new song (and silly home video) for "Everything But Loving You" just came into the world, and I wanted to write about it a little since I'm mostly off social media and not doing a traditional promotional blitz where I beg a bunch of media folks to write about it. Instead, I just want to put it out there, give some context to the song, and then not stress out about whether or not people listen to it, but trust that It will find who it needs to find. So, basically shooting my music career in the foot, haha. Small price to pay for mental wellness during a pandemic.
Even though it's a love song, I wrote this tune from a pretty scary place. Anxiety dug its claws into me hard a few times this year. While I've lived with that little shithead in my brain for pretty much my whole life, this time, it felt harder to manage. Chalk it up to infertility, a rampant pandemic, ongoing social injustice, national incompetence, you name it. It's a traumatizing time to be alive, even for the most mentally stable people.
In those moments, I didn't have or use the correct tools, and the result was an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and helplessness, which veered pretty hard into a land of shame and self-hatred where I started to lose sight of my worth on this planet and value of living life in general.
In those moments, my anxiety puts me on trial, unfairly and incessantly asking me, "If you can't fix everything, what's the point of you?"
In those moments, the one thing that is stronger than anxiety's prosecution is love's defense. I was able to hang on by focusing on the sense of purpose I feel in loving and being loved by my wife. Writing this song about Audrie, the person that makes me feel calm and sane and steady, provided enough of a glimmer of hope that I needed to be a functioning human again.
Speaking of being a functioning human, this is the first release that I produced, with the help of friends James Staton (bass), Steve Nichols (guitar), Jules Stewart (drums) and Amelia Sarkisian (mixing). It's not perfect or polished, but what feels more important to me than being perfect is: making an effort within my capacity, being proud of any small progress in that effort, being compassionate about any setback in that effort, and letting go of any attachment to other people's perceptions of that effort. It's a good way to fight anxiety. It's also a good way to approach art. And life.
In closing, I feel it's important to disclaim as a white person that this song was written in a mental health moment about a mental health moment. In no way do I want to give folks musical permission to ignore injustice in your community and in the world. I must admit, I've worried the song could be perceived in that light. But then, I just gotta circle back to letting go of any attachment to other people's perceptions of my effort. For me "quitting everything" kinda means letting go of the shit that doesn't serve me (sorrow, anger, worry), and focusing on the shit that does (love, love, love, etc.) so I can function with more clarity and serve others with more stability. However, I absolutely would like to quit doing the dishes for the rest of time. ;)
Spotify (please add to your fav love songs playlist or follow mine!)
Youtube (please subscribe while you're there!)
Patreon/Lindsay's Corner (be a part of the fam that helps keep creating)
Lyrics (for word nerds like me)
Thanks to the gang at The Rye Room Sessions for having me and Jules Stewart come in to record a couple tunes last summer. Here's the first, just released today, called Time is On the Way. Hope you enjoy! For lyrics, click here.
Thanks to my friend Jim for inviting me to be a part of his series, the Kinship Cafe. We had a great chat about all kinds of topics I find fascinating, plus I played a few tunes. Watch the full show below, and don't forget to check out the show's Patreon page if you'd like to support his series further!
You can probably see from my blog posts this month how much I enjoy being on podcasts. This one was particularly cool because I actually got to meet/chat in person with the host, Cha Wilde, while I was gigging through Seattle a few months ago. Cha does such a lovely job with branding and stylizing, plus all the guests are great. I highly recommend checking out all the episodes. But maybe start with this one since I'm the guest. Haha.
Thanks to Rob and The Unstarving Musician Podcast for inviting me back on the show to promote the upcoming Lady Brain Fest! Our convo covered a few topics of interest, so I broke it down by category below! Feel free to listen through or click ahead!
2:58: The Hound / Game of Thrones
6:48: Let Love Lead the Way / Women's March
8:50: Lady Brain Collective / Lady Brain Fest
12:23: Cathryn Beeks / Listen Local Radio
14:25: Lady Brain Collective Membership
20:50: Sponsorship / Investment Opportunities
25:50: The Art of Asking for Help
27:20: Selecting the Lady Brain Fest Lineup
32:44: Crowdfunding / Patreon
37:25: Finding People Who Value Art
38:20: Music Venues that Don't Pay
40:45: Recording with Jules Stewart
44:00: Music Track: The Hound
45:00: Staying Creative / Finding Time
47:00: The "Saying No" Game
51:18: Gratitude Journaling
53:29: Memoir-Style Book About Anxiety
I had a really fun chat with Gretchen and Tera, hosts of Lean the F*ck Out, a podcast about female entrepreneurs. We talked about all sorts of stuff, including Lady Brain Collective, business advice, life, death, mental health, and not being a dick.
Thanks to Brendan McCourt and BPM Live Sessions for featuring me on their series. Here's a look at "Run" - a song I wrote about how anxiety wreaks havoc in my life sometimes. Enjoy, and try not to have a panic attack.
1. one drop of water and the lake still shakes
stomping my boots but the mud's still caked
i gotta find a way to let this go
a pile of bricks sticking to my chest
weighing me down, they will not decongest
i tried to kill this ache but still it grows
how do i breathe now?
there's no air in my lungs
how do i climb down?
this ladder's out of rungs
how do i slow down?
when all i ever did was
all i ever did was run?
2. should i be drinking?now, well probably not
order a whiskey cause it's worth a shot
maybe i'll drown this fear before it drowns me
trouble with worry is it won't get gone
cause you can never put your finger on
something you feel but you can not see
I’ve always been a goal-setting go-getter, but my mother’s death has added new perspective to the relentless ambition that kept me from seeing myself as whole/enough and that kept me from living in the moment. My mom worked like a dog her whole life while raising two kids and then made a courageous decision to go back to school. She worked her ass off and earned two degrees in speech therapy, then eventually began her dream job working with kiddos she loved so much. She was the most ambitious person I’ve ever known. Right after all that hard work finally started to pay off, she got diagnosed with brain cancer, had to stop working, and died shortly after. This has taught me an important lesson. It’s lovely and admirable to have dreams, set goals, and work toward more knowledge, more growth, more money, more ability to make a difference. But all that hard work didn’t amount to much in terms of outcome. It amounted to a lot in terms of memorable moments and meaningful relationships though. The process was the powerful part, not the result. As this new year begins, I refuse to spend ALL my energy focusing on what I don’t have, what I want, where I hope to end up, what I’d like to look like or have or do or achieve to finally give myself permission to be happy. Instead, I’m choosing to wake up every day and take grateful inventory of what I already have. To know I am worthy of love no matter what I do or don’t accomplish in my life. To do my best and forget the rest. Grief dug a hole and planted some wisdom seeds that are juuuuuust now starting to take root in my heart and sprout in my actions. It’s weird and scary and unsettling to notice your identity morphing into something else. Sometimes my new thoughts feel like they don’t belong in my old brain, like a new me is taking over, and I’m afraid to leave the old me behind because I’m more familiar with her. But I’m trying to let the change happen as slowly and peacefully as possible, and I’m grateful to my mom for continuing to teach me. Here’s to a happy NOW year. I hope you got a chance to smile or make someone smile today.
Not one, but two podcasts featuring yours truly premiered today! Hope you listen to both in entirety, but if you want to skip around, I took the liberty of breaking down each episode for you below. Both The Dusty Futon and Unstarving Musician podcasts are wonderful supporters of local/indie music. Since I always get asked about my beginnings in the music industry, you'll see I talk about some similar topics, but the flavor of each show is totally different, which is what makes podcasts so cool! I definitely recommend subscribing and browsing some of their past episodes!
3:54 - When I Started Playing Music
8:06 - Coming Out/Getting Married Young/Therapy
10:05 - Cathryn Beeks/Listen Local San Diego
11:10 - "Surrogate" w/ Commentary
13:38 - Studio Studios/Alex Dausch
15:03 - Boxing
16:06 - Touring/Performing
17:00 - Multitasking
17:18 - Anxiety / Mental Health
19:20 - Winning a San Diego Music Award
21:50 - The Lovebirds
25:20 - "My Beast" w/ Commentary
30:10 - How I Started Playing Guitar / My Writing Process
35:07 - Music Influences
37:30 - Kleenex Jingles and Taxes
41:50 - "Rubber Band Gun" w/ Commentary (& Crying)
4:50 - Amy & Gary's House Concerts
6:38 - When I Started Pursuing Music
8:22 - Side Hustles
10:40 - Basketball / Boxing
12:26 - More Side Hustles
14:30 - Rye Room Sessions / "Deep Dark Down"
16:20 - Studio Studios / Alex Dausch
20:13 - Tracks vs. Lights Out
22: 55 - Not Giving AF About Genres
24:23 - Gratitude Journaling / Anxiety / Insomnia
31:44 - From Central California to San Diego
34:00 - Basketball vs. Music / Music Therapy
36:20 - New Music / What's Next
37:27 - Writing Faster Than I Can Record
38:40 - Moving Past Grief / Raging Feminism
40:20 - Writing Routine / Songwriting Book Club
43:45 - Songwriting Groups / Peers
46:16 - Folk Festivals & House Concerts
47:30 - Tenacity, Patience, & Resilience
51:05 - Touring
54:38 - "Surrogate"