Behind the Song - Ego

This song was the near-immediate result of how icky I felt after a songwriting critique. Many kind things were said, but the recurring "critique" part of the exchange was that my songs lacked focused themes and clear/streamlined perspectives. All in all it was a mixed bag, but I walked away from the experience feeling a little bit misunderstood as a songwriter. It made me think a lot about compromise. What am I willing to budge on as an artist in order to "level up" in the industry? It's a tough question to chew on, especially since I've never written with that goal in mind. It's kind of like how no one goes to therapy or AA thinking that they're going to get anything out of it other than one more day of survival. But on the flip side, I've been trying to gain listeners and earn money with this gig for years. Am I willing to sacrifice what I cherish about the songwriting process  in order to potentially grow my audience and effin' net worth for a change? I don't know. My gut tells me I'd rather be poor for the rest of my life than change the way I write. Not to be dramatic, but I might actually rather be dead. I value constructive criticism (especially when coming from women in the industry) but I kept thinking how my songwriting hero Bob Dylan would probably never be caught dead asking someone to critique his 11-minute songs featuring 20 different characters and abstract AF imagery. Anyway, this all got me thinking about my ego- sometimes protective, sometimes possessive. But always there.

are you my friend
are you my enemy
remember when
you used to take good care of me
lately you’ve been
treating me unbearably

ego, ego
please let me know
where did we go off track
ego, ego
you got my brain
do you got my back

are you Jekyll or Hyde
it’s still not clear to me
are you on my side
or just tired of being near to me
are you satisfied
you got another tear from me

ego, ego 
please let me know 
where did we go off track 
ego, ego 
you got my brain 
do you got my back

we’re gonna have to make things right
you gotta let me have a say
cause we can’t keep having this fight
and i can’t live this way

​ego, ego 
please let me know 
where did we go off track 
ego, ego 
you got my brain 
do you got my back