Behind the Song... Lights Out

Now that my mom is gone, I'm struggling with reconciling our estranged relationship all over again. In her last 6 months or so, I truly accepted the fact we were never going to be close as we both hoped. Since she died, I think I have to process the same thing, only this time I have to accept that we will never be physically close again. It's a whole new ballgame where I don't feel entitled to my own grief, like I don't deserve to miss her as much as I do. She had a very tough life and scrapped her way through it with such strength and fearlessness and conviction in her faith. It was such an incredible armor for her but it was also the barrier between us. I'll save the rest for therapy but here are the lyrics.

Lyrics:
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1. Her life was a boxing ring
She never took off
Her gloves 
She never stopped swinging
Not even for love
CHORUS
From the very first round
To the very last bout
She boxed her way in
She boxed her way out
I never got too close
I never knew how
Everything’s different
With the lights out
2. Her faith was a lonely home
She never took off
From that place
She never looked out the window
Not even to see my face
CHORUS
From the very first brick
To the very last grout
She boxed her way in
She boxed her way out
I never got too close
I never knew how
Everything's different
With the lights out