Behind the Song - Nothing Worse

Hope is always looked to as some unifying, mesmerizing, supernatural conduit for positive change. Obama ran on the idea of hope. But can hope be a negative thing? Toxic or paralyzing, even? I think so.

The idea for this song came directly from a text message conversation I was having with a friend about her recent breakup. She was referring to that feeling we all know so well - when a relationship is over, and we know better than to hope for a different outcome, yet hope lingers. She literally texted me the line "there's nothing worse than hoping at a time like this."  

Coincidentally, I was having feelings about my relationship to my music career that sort of paralleled this hopeless type of hope, so I drew from that well to give the song a bit more personal meaning for me. I "hope" (har har har I hate myself) you like it. 

Lyrics:
1. there's a pillow i keep punching
i always take you lying down
there's a pill so hard to swallow
i have to hide it in my mouth

CH
i'm sinking down the valley
i can't find the surface
i'm fighting the finale like a novice novelist
i'm pacing like Penelope hope for my homecoming kiss
course there's nothing worse than hoping in a lonesome time like this

2. there's a hole where i keep whispering
i always wonder if you hear
there's a hopeless place where i know best
but dear i don't dare to go near

CH i'm counting up the memories and the sacrifices
i'll spend them on you honey
i don't care what the price is
i'm testing several theories hoping to prove the same thesis
but there's nothing worse than hoping in a lonesome time like this

BR worry my mind furrow my brow sweetheart
i'm sweating bullets sweating you out
how can i let you go
when i still hope that hope exists
i know
there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this
​still i just sit here hoping at a lonesome time like this