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Hey friends! I wanted to share a little bit of news that has me a little blushy. This Sunday, I received Mayor Todd Gloria's "Woman of Distinction" Award along with 15 other womn in the community. There was a virtual ceremony, a certificate, and everything! I even put a nice shirt on for the first time in a year. (Kept my sweatpants on, though).  i.d. - Photo of Lindsay standing in kitchen, wearing a nice shirt on top with sweatpants on bottom, holding her Woman of Distinction certificate. I'm really grateful to my dear friend Susan Lipson for nominating me and to all the folks who have celebrated this news. I am very honored to be seen in this light by folks who know me, particularly by Susan, who has been such a wonderfully supportive friend and fellow artist. Without wanting to take away from that deep level of gratitude, I naturally have mixed feelings about accepting accolades from the same city that gives my wife wrinkles about job stability, that inflates police budgets while so many areas in the community deeply lack in funding, that arrests my friends at protests, and the list unfortunately goes on. I am trying to let the award itself be the honor it is and hope to point any visibility it brings toward Lady Brain Presents and We All We Got SD. If you are even a smidge proud of me, I hope you show it with a small (or huge, it's your life) ongoing contribution toward one or more of these groups. I also hope to connect with and learn more about the work some of the other recipients are doing throughout the community and expand my network of community contacts and resources. So basically, I'm sitting in the "yes, and" of it all and hoping more people - no matter who you are or what your capacities are or where you are on your journey- find ways to get involved with community care that make sense for the amount of privilege you have - whether that's wealth, time, energy, skill, or any other kind of service to your neighbor. We all - especially white/wealthy/cis/hetero/able folks - need to hold both officials and especially ourselves accountable to continually prioritize the folks who are made most vulnerable by systemic oppression and social injustice. My hope is that we can root this work and this accountability in love, without shame. But that's not to say I don't hold space for folks who are rightfully livid and perpetually let down by the folks who are elected and employed to serve the people. If we're making room for "yes, and" we've also got to make space for "no, and." Freedom and love for all must be the destination, peeps. There are a lot of lanes available on this road. Just gotta get in where you fit in.  i.d. - Screen shot of virtual award ceremony with Todd Gloria pictured on top of frame (smiling and wearing blue sweatshirt, sitting in front US flag and other decor) and Lindsay White pictured at bottom of frame (smiling, wearing black blouse, sitting on couch in front of window with blue curtains and framed painting of a buffalo) holding award certificate . PS - The official press release that came out said Lady Brain was a group for women (a common misconception), but our membership is inclusive of any gender marginalized person. For more info, read here.
PPS - I would love to see a gender non conforming/nonbinary awards event from the Mayor if one doesn't exist yet! Break that binary! PPPS - I would also love to see more trans siblings honored at next year's Women of Distinction event! I'll stay on the lookout for that submission form so I can do my part on the nominating side!
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Hey there, friends. I've got a brand new single out for ya out today. This one's called "The Rotten Parts," produced by me (!!!), mixed/mastered by Amelia Sarkisian, with drums by Jules Stewart. I wrote this one as a walk-a-mile-in-someone-else's-shoes plea for white folks to consider not only the current, every-day impact of white supremacist delusion on Black and Brown bodies, but the centuries-long trauma caused by hate, fear, greed, and othering based on nothing more than skin color. Sooooo Dummmmmb and Eviiiiiil. What a grave shame it is to still see so many people refuse to acknowledge the simple, unwavering truth that Black Lives Matter. To still value their own comfort and willful ignorance over the actual safety of other humans. To varying degrees, we ALL grapple with these "rotten parts" because we were all brought up within rotten, broken systems. And those rotten parts will continue to poison generation after generation until we confront them individually and collectively. Thank you for listening - hope you'll work to carve out all the rotten you see in yourself - I'll be doing the same on my end.
The song is available now (along with lyrics and art) for direct download in the store, which is by far the best way to support, or on all the streamy thingies. Special thanks to Jules Stewart (drums), Amelia Sarkisian (mixing/mastering), with single art by Shy the Artist using original photography by Sydney Valiente. As always, big, big love to my Lindsay's Corner fam for their continued support. *Edit 3/24 - I recently was given the opportunity to root out the rotten parts of this very blog, which was not giving proper credit to the Black and Brown folks who inform my very understanding of racial and social injustice and who motivate me daily to hold myself accountable and try to work/create/speak/live in solidarity. Folks whose work I am particularly grateful for and inspired by in this moment are Sonya Renee Taylor, Dr. Tiffany Jana, Sassy Latte, Isabel Wilkerson, Miki Vale, EB of Course, and so, so many of the harmonizers at our local mutual aid We All We Got SD! 
Image description: Single artwork by Shy the Artist features a collage with light gray text that reads “The Rotten Parts” overlaid on a blue-gray cloudy mountain landscape. The focal point is a photo (by Sydney Valiente) of Lindsay placed toward the right of the graphic. She is wearing a brown coat over a gray blouse and her long brown hair falls over her left shoulder. A bunch of red and white flowers with black leaves covers her face.
Hi friends! I'm back so quick with a new single, are you finding me to be impressive yet? Haha.
"Piece of Quiet" is another pandemic-inspired, anxiety-riddled bop about being so, so, so desperate for a little sliver of peace during such a tumultuous and traumatic time. I'm feeling much better now than when I wrote the tune, and I credit that with a commitment I made to creating some quiet and stillness in my life. (As I write this, my neighbor's chainsaw screams away. Apparently, he's coping with the pandemic through wood work...we all have our things I guess.) Anyway, when I get quiet, sometimes that looks like getting off my phone, sometimes it looks like meditating, or reading, or writing. There is a lot of comfort to be found in going within. I hope this song helps you do that in some small way. The song is available now (along with lyrics and art) for direct download in the store, which is by far the best way to support, or on all the streamy thingies. Special thanks to Jules Stewart (drums), Amelia Sarkisian (mixing/mastering), with single art by Shy the Artist using original photography by Sydney Valiente. As always, big, big love to my Lindsay's Corner fam for their continued support. 
Image description: Single artwork by Shy the Artist features a collage with light gray text that reads “Piece of Quiet” overlaid on a blue cloudy landscape. The focal point is a photo (by Sydney Valiente) of Lindsay wearing a white shirt and black pants. She is seated with her arms out to either side and her long brown hair falls over her left shoulder. Bunches of pink flowers cover her face and surround her body.
New single out today! “You Would Think” is inspired by one particularly challenging relationship in my life but could probably be applied to all challenging relationships in all lives. Now available (along with lyrics and art) for direct download in the store, which is by far the best way to support, or on all the streamy thingies. Special thanks to cowriter Becca Jay, drummer Jules Stewart, producer Alex Dausch, with single art by Shy the Artist using original photography by Sydney Valiente. And big, big love to my Lindsay's Corner fam for all their continue support.
Image description: Single artwork by Shy the Artist features a collage with light gray text that reads “You Would Think” overlaid on a grayish blue cloudy landscape. The focal point is two not-quite mirror-image photos (by Sydney Valiente) of Lindsay wearing a bright red coat, her long brown hair falling nearly to her waist. Bunches of colorful flowers are covering her face and surround her body.
Hey friends. Wanted to point your attention toward what will probably be the only piece of press I receive anytime soon: a really lovely review of my last three singles from my dear friend Lizzie Wann over on the Lady Brain Presents blog. Even though I'm putting out a lot of new music, I just don't have the capacity to push for PR right now, which goes against everything I've been doing as an indie musician for my entire career. Why, you may ask, would someone who has literally written a DIY publicity guide for indie musicians, not put more care into publicizing her new music? Um, I'm exhausted. That's pretty much it. I've reached a point in this pandemic where I'm creating and releasing music for my own mental health. What anyone chooses to do with it or think about it or write about it is not even a sliver of a thought in my brain at the moment. Maybe one day I'll get back to a place where I keep pushing for more reach, but for now, I'm just going to lean on good friends like Lizzie, awesome collectives like Lady Brain Presents, and my Patreon fam to give me the gentle squeezes and nudges I need to keep on keeping on. Thanks so much Lizzie for these thoughtful and kind words about my latest three releases. If you get a moment, please send her a little venmo love and check out her book and talk show!  Image description: Single artwork for "Nothing Worse" features a collage with light gray text that reads "Nothing Worse" overlaid on a grayish blue mountain landscape. In the center, a photo of Lindsay White in a green shirt, propping her chin up with her hand. Bunches of colorful flowers are placed over her face and near her shoulder. Artwork by ShyTheArtist, original photo by Sydney Prather.
New year, new music. Hope you enjoy my latest release "Nothing Worse," an original song inspired by one of my dear friends about that dreaded sense of hope we still somehow manage to feel during incredibly hopeless and lonely times. The song is available on all streaming platforms, but I hope you'll also consider a direct download from my website, which includes a printable lyric download as well as the artwork. Streaming is cool y'all, but artists can't make it work with fractions of pennies for royalties. Direct sales help me continue to invest in creating more music!
Image Description: Single artwork features a collage with light gray text that reads "Nothing Worse" overlaid on a grayish blue mountain landscape. In the center, a photo of Lindsay in a green shirt with black and white polka dot accents. She is propping her chin up with her hand. Bunches of colorful flowers are covering her face and near her shoulder. Artwork by ShyTheArtist, using original photo by Sydney Prather.
Lyrics:
there's a pillow i keep punching i always take you lying down there's a pill so hard to swallow i have to hide it in my mouth i'm sinking down the valley, can't find the surface i'm fighting the finale, like a novice novelist i'm pacing like Penelope, hope for my homecoming kiss but there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this there's a hole where i keep whispering i always wonder if you hear there's a hopeless place where i know best but dear, i don't dare to go near i'm counting up the memories and the sacrifices i'll spend them on you honey i don't care what the price is i'm testing several theories hoping to prove the same thesis but there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this worry my mind, furrow my brow sweetheart, i am sweating bullets sweating you out how can i let you go when i still hope that hope exists i know...there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this but i just sit here hoping at a lonesome time like this
Thank you for listening fam! If you want to take your patronage one step further, you can also join Lindsay's Corner for $2+/month. Did you know someone would have to stream my song about 229 times before I earned $2? But it costs about $10-20 per year to keep a song distributed to these platforms, so just to break even for a single, my song would have to be streamed 1145-2290 times per year. This stuff makes me want to pull out my hair and quit music sometimes. Having support from the Patreon platform isn't just about financial sustainability, it's about the emotional support and knowing that folks care about artists enough to protect and preserve their ability to create. It's about giving them "hope at a lonesome time like this."
Hey friends! I wanted to premiere a brand new video for "Crickets," ahead of my latest release that will be available for streaming/download on December 26. My Patreon crew got the first look, and they are absolutely the reason I continue to be able to create music despite not earning my usual gig income this year, so I want to thank them for their continued support during a really weird and hard time for artists. To start, let me disclaim that I have no real technical skills when it comes to video-making, but I had a vision to try and capture what the infertility struggle feels like; using a tripod and an iPhone, I managed to arrive somewhere in the realm of reality.  Image Description: Single artwork features a hand-drawn bathroom sink and a pregnancy test on the counter. A tiny cricket appears in the test window. Artwork by Chad Cavanaugh. In the song, you'll hear real crickets I recorded from outside my window on the nights I would lay awake wondering if I was ever going to get pregnant. Sometimes I would see a cricket in the bathroom, and of course (always looking for a sign from the Universe) I Googled what they meant - besides the "nothing" response they are commonly associated with. Some searches pointed to good luck and fertility. I secretly hoped my mama was coming to me in one of those crickets telling me that good news was on the way. The good news never came. Sometimes crickets are just crickets, I guess. You can also hear the crinkle of a pregnancy test wrapper in the chorus, which I used to represent the almost mechanical wheel-like revolution of hope to despair to hope to despair, cycle after cycle, fail after fail. What actually happens in these cycles is you actually have to go into the lab every try for a blood test to confirm the cycle failed (even if you already started your period or tested negative at home), which adds an extra spin cycle of hope/despair where you tell yourself tons of little stories "maybe it's implantation bleeding" or "maybe it was a false negative" until you finally get the phone call confirming what you knew all along. No baby. Feel free to share this video with anyone you know who has struggled with similar issues. It's isolating. I hope it comforts and speaks to people who have been through it. I feel very fortunate that we were even able to try five times. In the opening lyrics "I've cried onto a casket," I'm referring to my mom's death. I'm also wearing the clothes I wore to her funeral. I wanted to acknowledge that some folks don't have the resources to attempt to grow their family, and we would've been in that boat had it not been for my mama's death. So maybe she was still my good luck cricket in a different sense. Thanks to her, we will always get to say that we tried, and that is comforting. Still, I want to point out that for sooooo many LGBTQ+ folks who envision creating families of their own, whose own families did/do not accept them - we get such a late start on this process because it takes us such a long time to shed the shame placed on us by others and to arrive at our full authentic selves. Which then makes us a little late to the game in finding our healthy life partners/relationships, which then makes us really late to the family planning process. By the time Audrie and I started trying to conceive, it was practically too late. So many queer couples I know struggle with this, and it really angers me that our own loved ones, our own schools, our own religions stand in the way of our ability to love and grow into ourselves, each other, and our families. This is tragic. This is abuse. Please, if you are reading this, and you refuse to accept your child or loved one's sexuality or gender identity or anything else about their authentic self, you are literally robbing them of time they could be fully supported and immersed in your love for them and their love for themselves. Don't do that. God wouldn't do that. ****
This track will be available on Spotify/Apple/etc. on December 26! In the meantime, please follow on Spotify, subscribe on Youtube, and check out Lindsay's Corner if you'd like to be a part of the fam that helps me keep creating. Hi my friends. It's release day! My new song (and silly home video) for "Everything But Loving You" just came into the world, and I wanted to write about it a little since I'm mostly off social media and not doing a traditional promotional blitz where I beg a bunch of media folks to write about it. Instead, I just want to put it out there, give some context to the song, and then not stress out about whether or not people listen to it, but trust that It will find who it needs to find. So, basically shooting my music career in the foot, haha. Small price to pay for mental wellness during a pandemic.  Image Description: Single artwork features a hand-drawn pile of dirty dishes. Artwork by Chad Cavanaugh. Even though it's a love song, I wrote this tune from a pretty scary place. Anxiety dug its claws into me hard a few times this year. While I've lived with that little shithead in my brain for pretty much my whole life, this time, it felt harder to manage. Chalk it up to infertility, a rampant pandemic, ongoing social injustice, national incompetence, you name it. It's a traumatizing time to be alive, even for the most mentally stable people. In those moments, I didn't have or use the correct tools, and the result was an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and helplessness, which veered pretty hard into a land of shame and self-hatred where I started to lose sight of my worth on this planet and value of living life in general. In those moments, my anxiety puts me on trial, unfairly and incessantly asking me, "If you can't fix everything, what's the point of you?" In those moments, the one thing that is stronger than anxiety's prosecution is love's defense. I was able to hang on by focusing on the sense of purpose I feel in loving and being loved by my wife. Writing this song about Audrie, the person that makes me feel calm and sane and steady, provided enough of a glimmer of hope that I needed to be a functioning human again.
Speaking of being a functioning human, this is the first release that I produced, with the help of friends James Staton (bass), Steve Nichols (guitar), Jules Stewart (drums) and Amelia Sarkisian (mixing). It's not perfect or polished, but what feels more important to me than being perfect is: making an effort within my capacity, being proud of any small progress in that effort, being compassionate about any setback in that effort, and letting go of any attachment to other people's perceptions of that effort. It's a good way to fight anxiety. It's also a good way to approach art. And life. In closing, I feel it's important to disclaim as a white person that this song was written in a mental health moment about a mental health moment. In no way do I want to give folks musical permission to ignore injustice in your community and in the world. I must admit, I've worried the song could be perceived in that light. But then, I just gotta circle back to letting go of any attachment to other people's perceptions of my effort. For me "quitting everything" kinda means letting go of the shit that doesn't serve me (sorrow, anger, worry), and focusing on the shit that does (love, love, love, etc.) so I can function with more clarity and serve others with more stability. However, I absolutely would like to quit doing the dishes for the rest of time. ;) **** Spotify (please add to your fav love songs playlist or follow mine!) Youtube (please subscribe while you're there!) Patreon/Lindsay's Corner (be a part of the fam that helps keep creating) Lyrics (for word nerds like me) Hey y'all! Historic day. I'm celebrating the relief that comes with overthrowing a racist dictator-type man-child from an office he had no business occupying in the first place. I'm celebrating the hard work and organizing efforts of grassroots organizations that kept us from driving right off a fascist cliff. I'm celebrating the tireless work of Black womxn and indigenous folks and folks of color and progressive folks who constantly answer the call to save democracy despite the fact that their calls for justice go so often unanswered. I'm celebrating the long overdue achievement of sending the first Black person, the first Indian-American person, the first womxn to the VP office. I'm celebrating the heartening idea that more folks are recognizing their own power in creating communities, a country, and a future that looks like all of us and works for all of us. I'm celebrating that idea that, come January 20, my raging anxiety might lessen just the tiniest bit simply by nature of not having to think about or hear or read the vile words of a hateful, racist, ignorant, greedy fool.
But I'm also not getting it twisted. Ousting Trump from the White House is like trimming a little crusty leaf off a Sequoia tree with serious root rot. Electoral politics is but one tiny branch of that tree. Half of us managed to eek out enough votes to get this particular ignorant, self-enriching, fear-mongering, white supremacist out, yet greed and white supremacy (bolstered by hate, willful ignorance, and an array of oppressive and destructive -isms) continue to run the show in almost every US institution I can think of, from healthcare to housing, from education to immigration, from faith to feminism, from police to prisons, from politics to the nonprofit world. This poison, selfish stew is upheld, protected, and perpetuated everywhere you look, including the right, including the left, including the undecided and apathetic, including the mirror. Take for example, media outlets and correspondents, who all bent and stretched and hemmed and hawed for 72+ hours to exhaustively opine on the incoming vote counts - yet no meaningful conversation or even curious discussion took place regarding the white vote and what it might indicate or illustrate in terms of systemic racism in this country, especially given the enormous amount of police brutality and demand for racial social justice we witnessed this summer. There was every reason to talk about outright and/or internalized white supremacy for every one of those 72+ hours, but god forbid we disturb the viewers (ie, ratings and sponsors) for even a nanosecond. Someone, please give the giant elephant in the room a microphone and a fancy interactive electoral college map! Continuing in 2020 to treat “white” as "default" in a land with no white natives, in a land whose post-colonial economic system was developed through white exploitation of Black and Brown labor, in a land whose post-colonial political and educational and housing and healthcare systems purposefully denied or excluded or obstructed non-white participation shows just how tightly the culture of white supremancy grips our bodies and brains. It will hold on forever if we let it. Trace any historic path from that time to this time. You will find plenty of gallant notions and powerful figures and flowery speeches and even actual instances of freedom and equality along the way. But I would argue that, if concepts like freedom and equality are the lungs of US society as we now know it, working together to breathe life into our democracy and to sustain the idea of a “more perfect union,” then white supremacy is the heart, steadfastly pumping greed and hate and fear and ignorance into the whole damn organism. And no matter how much “freedom” oxygen we cut it with, devastatingly toxic blood will continue running through the veins of this society until we reckon with that. That toxicity IS systemic racism, is colonial mindset, is misogyny and patriarchy and rape culture, is queer/transphobia, is consumer culture and internalized capitalism, is xenophobia, is ableism, is religious discrimination, is white privelige, is MAGA mentality, is a Muslim travel ban, is family separation at the border, is anti-bodily autonomy, is anti-gay marriage, is lack of access to adequate housing and healthcare, is climate change denial, is widespread disease and death, is Donald Trump, is whatever comes after Donald Trump. That toxicity makes the idea of freedom and equality entirely possible for some and entirely impossible for others. Bringing awareness to it is not a singular attack against a singular person (though Trump makes a great target) and it’s not a problem that can be fixed with any one election (though today feels like a good place to start if you haven’t already). No more blood transfusions. No more reform. No more tiny bandages on gaping, gushing wounds. We need the entire heart transplant, and STAT. My suggestion? Vote, AND. Stay engaged and in service to your local community in whatever way aligns with your values, passions, strengths, and capacities all year long, not just every time a ballot shows up in your mailbox. Breathe in the fresh air of the potential for freedom and equality. But also take note of that toxic heartbeat of white supremacy. How strong does it (or the internalized desire for proximity to it) pulse within you? How strong does it pulse in your family or friend circle or neighborhood or workplace? Stop and ask yourself, multiple times a day, no matter where you are: would all people feel free and equal in this space? If the answer is no, ask what you might be willing to give of your time or energy or money or capacity. Because if the answer is no, that means there’s still much more work to do, and that work ain’t gonna do itself. It certainly won’t all be done in four years by Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, wearing Mitch McConnel muzzles and likely up to their ears in whatever special interests and limitations all politicians at that level find themselves entangled in. White folks, I have a ton of specific suggestions for you (contact me and we’ll chat about fun stuff like detaching from guilt, shame, defensiveness, and other junk). But if you take away one crumb of homework from my election week Ted talk, it’s this: Vote, AND find queer Black womxn artists and/or grassroots activists in your community, then trust their leadership and support their work however you can forever and ever. Hey y'all - wanter to share a little interview I recently did with Shoutout Socal. Thanks to my buddy Cathryn Beeks for referring me to their team! Read the interview here.  Image Description: To the left, a black text headline that reads "Meet Lindsay White - Songwriter & Lady Brain Presents Organizer." To the right, a photo of Lindsay White playing guitar (credit Sharisse Coulter) |
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