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it’s a tidal wave of emotion overcoming me the last stage is set to motion i have set myself to sea and i cry and i cry and i cry it’s a terrible disaster a ship without a master a frightening ending an uncertain beginning thank god there were no children but there was quite a record collection how to divide beautiful music that once was our possession
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don’t know why i hold you i high regard you do no thing but pull on the strings of my heart don’t know why i put you on a pedestal you leave me way down here looking like a fool 100 songs is 99 too many don’t get me wrong, i get along with this muse a song is this song, and i’ve got plenty but i’ll stop singing them, they’re not bringing me closer to you don’t know why i give you so much respect you only show me half-assed affection don’t know why i pay you so much mind you’ve expressed your disinterest a thousand times i am running out of words, baby you are running out of time i’ll find someone who deserves all this music of mine when my grandpa died, i think he might have taken happiness with him everything turned gray, colors washed away god refused to listen when my mom and dad finally got so sad they had to end their union it opened up my eyes, made me realize they are only human people say that love is the only answer but i know they’ve got to be wrong because this love’s my only question where is my love, why is it gone? when i left my home, i felt so alone fair weather friends turned their backs such a scary thought to go from having a lot to living out of plastic bags now i feel so strange and i know it will change who i am forever knocks the wind from me, brings me to my knees turns me into a beggar i’m the worst traveling salesman i’m pathetic and i’m poor my spirit’s in a tailspin my feet are fucking sore my legs must weigh a thousand pounds all i want to do is sit the more i give myself away the heavier i get and i keep ringing your bell, babe i keep knocking on your if you don’t want what i’m trying to sell, babe what do you keep on answering for? i limp along every day always wind up at your place you open wide, say come inside then slam the door in my face you’d think i’d get the picture, babe you’d think i’d get the hint you’d think i’d have the sense to convince some other resident tried to do the right thing tried to do the wife thing i tried to wear that diamond ring tried to do the wrong thing tried to do the strong thing i tried nearly everything what do i try now? what do i try now? how hard i cry now guess it’s goodbye now tried to do the right thing tried to quit pretending i tried to find a song to sing tried to do the wrong thing tried to do the longing i tried nearly everything
i am equal parts alive and dead
half in my heart half in my head full of holes and empty of filling crying over milk i keep spilling oh, whoever wrote my recipe clearly has it out for me don't you know water don't go with oil don't you know if you leave me out alone i'll spoil i've never measured myself precise there's always been a missing spice but now there's way too much salt i know it's not your or my fault i could sing another song that sounds like all the rest but what’s the point in pointing out unhappiness? i could pen another tune, not leave a dry eye in the room but what’s the use in using music? i’m doomed i know pain won’t go away if i keep asking it, keeping asking it to stay i know lonely won’t leave me alone if i keep calling it my one and only home i could say another prayer, god might not care or understand when i say what’s the deal with dealing me this shit hand? i could do myself in, press something sharp upon my skin what’s the harm in harming myself yet again? i hate the pity in your voice please don’t take that tone with me yeah, i feel shitty but that was my choice i’m just trying to find a moment of happy i’ve been better but i’ll be fine it’s not easy losing your mind the buildup’s better than the breakdown cause when i breakdown nobody’s around i feel like shouting every word please don’t take that from me i’m tired of getting what i deserve it’s time i deserve some happy i dreamt i went to a field with dandelions i shout, come out and join me with sirens and we blew til we were blue in the face we wished for this: take us far from this place i’ve been staring at a picture of myself upon the wall i must confess i made a mess, don’t recognize myself at wall i’ve been searching high and low on top behind and underneath i look for ways to stunt my growth, look for reasons not to leave cause i made a museum filled it up with memories but i can’t live inside a museum of used to be’s i’ve been popping pills like candy, i’ve been smoking too much weed the past was fine and dandy, but the future’s what i need i’ve been living like a statue, i’m afraid i’m gonna crack you have roped me off with stanchions to protect the artifact |
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