hope springs eternal
or so i've been told
but i know it's terminal
even hope gets sick, gets old
oh faith you fickle friend
you bargain and seduce
disguised like a goddamn godsend
just pretended to know the truth
 
if it was lies why have I been
holding all my breath in
waiting for the big exhale
i guess there comes a time to say goodbye to
throwing pennies in a wishing well
 
they say you can’t miss what you never had
here’s my objection
i’ll never miss something half as bad
as relying on the lie of reconnection
hope keeps a journal
but words are cannon fodder
grim reaps maternal
grim reaps daughter

all these needles all in vain
when will sleep come to numb the pain
cut it off so it won't bleed
how does one try not to need
 
i'm learning how to roll with it
the tightening of the tourniquet
no blood supply i'm used to it
i'll die trying loosen the grip
 
all these things I saw
explain the rubber mouth and stubborn jaw
circulatory system breech
what kind of wave resists the beach
 
it wasn't my plan
i didn't mean no harm
oh well who needs a hand
who needs a loving arm

father hear my pleas, don’t make me scrape my knees
even diogenes, he agrees with me
a syndrome of self neglect is the sin of intellect
holding lanterns to the light is no necessity
 
what good is a god with the head of a falcon
that lives on the body of man?
what sense is the strength of a thoroughbred stallion
running like a scared mare every chance that it can?
what comfort lies in millions of lives
if they’re over before they began?
sometimes it shapes me, sometimes it escapes me
the good of a god in the body of man
 
father hear my cries, i’m not buying alibis
your books so wise disguise the valleys for the peaks
if all your world’s a page you’ll never take the stage
baby steps assuage the magnitude of quantum leaps
 
heaven knows i’m also froze and apples don’t fall far
trust me, any day’s a good day in the shade of where you are
but i’m a prudent teacher’s student and I'm just trying to understand
heads and birds, actions and words
and the good of a god in the body of man

i feel unshakeable sadness
i feel unbreakable guilt
everybody’s just sitting on their axis
it’s just the way my axis tilts
i think a lot about life
i think a lot about death
everybody’s trying to do what’s right
with the life that they got left
 
won’t you tell me what would you rather be
the careless chaff or the worried wheat
 
i’m losing my sense of direction
i’m losing my will to proceed
done running for reelection
im ready to concede
 
who am I to call this hurting
who am I to be afraid
sometimes your blessing is a burden
sometimes a feather is a weight when you're the worried wheat
 
i will get on the saddle
i hope this horse can swim
right now i don't even want to paddle
i’ll be better in the morning

you wick away the water
before you step out of the shower
you lather on the lotion
for about a thousand hours
 
i soak up these scenes and small routines
all the little things you do
just when i thought you gave me everything
you give me something new to love about you
 
you love cheese enchiladas
and candies with words written on them
you make sure i’m tucked in tight
before you leave me in the morning

there i was driving fast past the desert windmill farms
couldn’t see energy in their lifeless heavy arms
never thought something so still could make me feel such an alarm
maybe my anxious observation made them nervous to perform
 
the outlaw sun had every one frozen like a stick-up
they were praying for momentum, wondering when the wind might pick up
the sharp scare of the dead air could surely cure a case of the hiccups
i’m still clicking both my heels but now the dust won’t even kick up
 
i didn’t know what to do, i didn’t know what to say
i didn’t wanna go but sure as hell didn’t wanna stay
can’t recall every moment but I’ll always know the the way
I felt in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day 
 
i slowed down near a truck stop town when something caught my sight
a cactus backed against the rocks, flexing for a fight
needles and pins pushing in and out with all their might
it looked thirsty, at the worst, it may not make it through the night
 
i felt sorry for that plant and the way it can’t give love
how should a cactus act when it’s offered a proper hug
of course i cared but wouldn’t dare to give it more than a sad shrug
i looked on the ground all around but never found my kid gloves
 
somewhere the weather’s not so hot and the ocean comes to play
otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift away
​but daughters cling to other things cause they’d drown if they stayed
i thought in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day

I will pretend she is your friend
fantasy’s ideal for me
I will pretend she is your friend
reality is killing me
 
didn’t i say if you live this way
I will never approve?
didn’t I say if you live this way
god will take heaven from you?
didn't I say if you live this way
you’re turning your back on the truth?
thank god for unconditional love or how else
how could I make myself love a sinner like you?
 
didn’t you think about what I thought
did you not think about my belief?
didn’t you try to get by on a diet of guilt and grief?
didn’t you know the way you chose to grow?
now i can’t say I’m proud of how you grew
thank god for unconditional love or how else
could I make myself love a daughter like you?

my thumb is one indecisive prick
don’t show him your swatches cause he’ll never pick
he’s got all these rules and sticks out when he’s sore
but he cradles the neck of his taylor guitar
he likes the road and the road likes him too
but he’s always hitching the first ride back to you
 
index is on deck, he directs and selects
he’s got brilliant ideas for what should come next
the grandiose one in the air for the win
blessed with hearing the soul and steering the pen
like god to adam in michaelangelo’s hue
he’s making a point to create a life with you
 
i always done what i could with the hand i was dealt
i raised it and shook it, wrote down what I felt
never won with a straight, just a face here and there
kept hoping for two of a kind for a pair
i’m down on one knee so you know where i stand
would have folded by now if it weren’t for your hand
 
the third’s like a bird, so careless and wild
a chip on her shoulder, the mad middle child
she’s mastered the art of the cold hard goodbye
when she turns her back proud with her head held up high
but index the peacemaker always steps in
if you ever see her, my love, you’ll also see him
 
the ring finger’s all heart, she’s made it her mission
to cry at commercials and value tradition
she won’t claim religion but her finger’s right on it
her prayers take the shape of rumi’s love sonnets
she’ll stand in a crowd and happily swear
to wear any ring you place there
 
last but not least, small but not weak
everyone stops to hear him when he speaks
his reach may surprise you, for it’s far and long
he’s got a tiny physique but he’s character-strong
not a word out of place, not a letter untrue
he’s pinky promising all his love to you

beware, a cocoon can turn into a coffin
safety betrays, it ain’t always your friend
besides what is life if it’s not lived often
be not afraid to turn into the wind
 
i look at this life through a prism of lenses
a screen door in the wind swinging wild on its hinges
it slams then expands to show new scenery
i’ve been transformed by love’s alchemy
It swims in the tears of my proud father’s eyes
roams the meadows of spain, sings the sheep lullabies
cloaked in the coat of a camouflaged king
awakened a life that lived only in dreams
 
it even exists in a pyramid scheme
and my woman who waits by the oasis spring 
rises like steam from the fresh blood of war
laid under the shade of an old sycamore
it’s the legend that leads you to treasures untold
pours lead in a mold, expects no less than gold
pushes the sun on its course in the sky
wooshes like wind, never born nor will die
 
beware, a cocoon can turn into a coffin
be not afraid to turn into the wind