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red today, i’m seeing red today i’m seeing red today not in an angry way red like a cross that saves on disastrous days or a heart that loves in fantastic ways read like the cartoons when you’re searching for laughter red like a curtain that falls from the rafters at the end of a play, we all make our way off the stage and i don’t pretend to be certain but i’m pretty sure that curtain will rise again it’s just a matter of when but I’m seeing red today...
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she is a mother who gave me a father
her name is norma jean bill was a deacon after he quit drinking he married her when she was sixteen he moved her out west when the greatest depression chased them, they escaped by the skin of their teeth i watched him adore her, do everything for her he carried her purse, and he watched her sleep 64 times they circled sun til he shot off the earth like a rubber band gun her soul folded up like a thin paper plane waiting for takeoff to see him again the man of her dreams, the man in her dreams i’m a granddaughter who lost my grandfather my name is lindsay ann meaningless moments turn into memories he picked me up from school in a mercury sedan what I’ll most miss is the forehead kisses cause I grew up taller than my family tree he left me a lesson that kindness is best you can survive a hard life with no enemies 32 times we circled the sun til he shot off the earth like a rubber band gun i got no right to complain, no reason to cry he told me to relax, let the world go by the man of my dreams (repeat) the man in my dreams one drop of water and the lake still shakes stomping my boots but the mud's still caked i gotta find a way to let this go a pile of bricks sticking to my chest weighing me down they will not decongest i tried to kill this ache but still it grows how do i breathe now there's no air in my lungs how do i climb down this ladder's out of rungs how do i slow down when all i ever did was all i ever did was run should i be drinking now, well probably not order a whiskey, cause it's worth a shot maybe i'll drown this fear before it drowns me trouble with worry is it won't get gone cause you can never put your finger on something you feel but you can not see one drop of water and the lake still shakes
the world is turning, changing, spinning round
sometimes i’m dizzy in my head day by day i’m learning to live on this playground around the universe, my arms are spread wide open, I’m hoping you stay with me cause you have shown me how to love living is giving and you’ve given me so much when things are down you turn them right side up i am a child seeking, asking, curious sometimes i’m dizzy in my head day by day you teach me to keep on, not give up i’m standing tall, my wings are spread if this will ever get better it will surely get worse who says what, when, where, who calls who first is hope even worth holding or do i wipe it off my hands the situation paces restless in the places that it stands i watch with aching despair from my own bird's eye how can i bring you air without losing my sky you threw up your borders i just drew a line will it trace back to you or erase over time i fly like a phoenix, i hover over your mule as it thrashes its hooves in a sorrow-full pool i know only to rise now so i can't dive back down and besides, if i tried we both surely would drown i didn't dig a grave or burn a bridge, i broke a cycle the life you gave i yearned to live, the alternative was suicidal it was never what i wanted - to be a self-inflicted orphan now i lay awake haunted by a cursed, reversed abortion we run holding hands to two open swings
i pump my legs slowly, hold tight to the chain links blocking the light, i look up in the air scream honey, are you sure you're alright up there? you say i'm having a blast, get up here right now i yell back i'm tired, and i don't know how for days straight, i wait, trying to gauge where you'll be when the clouds cave in so you can land on me there's a ring around the roses on our own playground there's nothing but earth and sky for miles around and i say, oh how fun, let's reminisce you say, i've never seen a place like this and i say, it's common as apple pie you say, i know you are, but what am i next we head over to tetherball poles i wait on both sides, while you play both roles there's no way to lose, there's no way to win so i sit wondering when i'll get to sub in you hit it so hard, i wince and i brace cause i'm scared the ball's bound to smack me in the face it'll fly off the handle if you play too rough leave you bored with just me, cause i'm not enough when we finally take a break in the day we take turns making a pb and j i spread mine thin, cause i hate a mess and you pour it on thick, cause you love the excess the past will never shift so i’m learning to embrace it the future is just a wish so i’m learning not to chase it the present is a gift and i’m trying not to waste it every choice is my reflection, i’m gonna have to face it at the end of the day, let the chips fall where they may let the light inside your love lead you a long at the end of the night, keep the loving shining bright so even in the dark you can’t go wrong you can’t go wrong love knocked off my boat it rocked me off my route it sliced me paper thin but I’ll never rule it out cause when love cuts you with its scissors, something better’s bound to sprout i will play the game of love cause i could never do without stop sizing me up, giving me that funny look crooking your neck at me like i’m the spine of some dusty book open me up already i’m jumping off the page at you take me in nice and steady i’m hoping i open you up too can you read me, can you read me can you read the signs? can you read me, can you read me read between the lines? listen what i say, listen what i say, listen what i said i’m ready, i’m ready to be read if you pick me up babe, you’re afraid you won’t put me down, down, down, down articulated diction, this ain’t nonfiction friction it’s just the way we are bound open me up already i’m jumping off the page at you take me in nice and steady i’m hoping i open you up too
you say rapunzel, let down your hair
you said i need a distraction, can i climb up there so i let down my locks before it's too late i say don't worry baby, i can carry the weight carry the weight this ain't a fairy tale this ain't gonna end well but life isn't fair so i don't care tonight i'm gonna let down my hair you say rapunzel, you're such a sight you said i need a distraction, can i see you tonight so i let down my locks before it's too late i say don't worry baby, i can carry the weight carry the weight you won't save me from this tower i am lonely, but i'm not naive you will stay about an hour cause you know you can go, you can get up and leave you left me alone in a very small room time was suspended can’t explain how it’s smaller now that i’m the only one in it you turned on like a faucet you turned off like light now this room is dark and wet and i’m such a sorry sight there was never room in here i couldn’t hardly breathe there was never room in here i know you had to leave there was never room in here i think it’s such a shame there was never room in here i wish i never came we broke in here like bandits we knew it’d be scary i took too much, it weighed me down you took what you could carry you left me alone in a very small room took me off the shelf there’s nothing left to say i’d be talking, talking to myself |
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