*Lyrics cowritten w/ Anna Ballew​

What do you want
Is it still me
Somewhere along the path
Desire turned to need
You say I'm crucial
I make it all work
I know I'm useful, babe
But so is dirt

It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away
I know you don't want to hear it
But it's all I want to say
It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away

What are you having
Drink's on me
It's been so long since decisions have been
Gifted and free
You call me the sunlight
I already know
Giving my energy til I give in
Then where do I go

It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away
I know you don't want to hear it
But it's all I want to say
It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away

Flood of attention
Your eyes are on me
You drown me in moments
We don't swim consistently
Tell me what you need
Ooh, that's what you say
But you hear what you want to hear
So crystal clear just turns to gray

It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away
I know you don't want to hear it
But it's all I want to say
It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away

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Verse: E A B7 E
Chorus: A E A E // B7 A E

a little knievel, a little james dean
a little of your mama, a little mr. clean
a little love and laughter and kindness too
that’s what i think a lot about when i think of you
 
charismatic conor kent
ever since the accident
i've been wondering why you came and went so quickly
sometimes this world just don’t make sense
it gives and takes without consent
you were heaven-sent and i’m hell-bent on keeping you with me
my wrinkles they were worth it every last one
my dare-devil guardian angel son
 
a little country, a little hang ten
a little let loose, a little hardworking
a little adventure, a little smile too
that’s what i think a lot about when i think of you

Verse: E G#m F#m B
Chorus: E G#m A B // Cm B A Am

​i don’t want to pay a publicist to like me
i don’t want to ask a journalist to write nice things about me
i don’t want to beg my friends to come to my next show
i don’t want to paste my stupid face on stupid clothes
 
i just want to write a song that saves the world or pays my rent
when chasing your dreams turns to chasing your tail
you start asking yourself where the hell all the time went
 
i don’t want to shake a hand and fake my admiration
i don’t want to stoke or fan the flames of my frustration
i don’t want to envy when my friends enjoy successes
or provide for free bits of me just to see who it impresses
 
i don’t want to be negative i’ll quit my bellyaching
i don’t want to second guess my purpose or decision making
i don’t want the past or future to chase me up a tree
if i stay here in this moment, maybe my dreams might chase me

Chorus: Bm slide to D
Verse: Bm D // Bm A Bm C
​
don't overthink it, don't overdo it
sometimes it's good enough to get up and get through it
you don't have to kick every single wall down
sometimes it's good enough to get up and walk around
 
what's all this talk of getting on the saddle?
what's all this talk of climbing back on the horse?
what if the saddle's not compatible?
what if the horse threw you off your course?
what if the thing that you need currently
is to stop indulging worry so repeatedly?
question marks circle like sharks in your anxiety
but their fins are only figments of the swim you see
 
what's all this talk of persevering,
all this outrageous talk of getting ahead?
if persevering's too severe today,
it was courageous just to get out of bed
what if the thing that you need currently
is to stop indulging worry so repeatedly
question marks circle like sharks in your anxiety
but their fins are only figments of the swim you see 

Verse: Amaj7 A7sus2 A6sus4 AM7sus2​ // Amaj7 A7sus2 A6sus4 Amaj7 (?)
Chorus: Bm7 E Amaj7 // A6sus4 AM7sus2 (?)

​when the novel becomes a chapter
when the chapter becomes a line
when the story you’ve been chasing after
becomes once upon a time
 
tear it up and let it fly
tell it to somebody in the sky
punctured or punctuated by
the dot above the i
 
when a friendship becomes a footnote
when a hug becomes parentheses
when the story you thought you wrote
becomes whose words were these?

Verse: C Em Dm C G
Chorus: C Dm F Fm C
Bridge: F Fm C // F Fm Em Dm C G

i might as well be a shovel the way i bury hurt
dig a hole where the pain goes then i cover it with dirt
i might as well be a faucet the way i handle pain
let it run til the hurting's done, watch it circle down the drain
til nothing remains
 
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
all my thoughts of us rot into rust
i never got my last wish, you never came around
you just vanished in the deep, dark, down
 
you might as well be a stranger in some far off galaxy
off you go in your ufo, ain't no way we're gonna meet
you might as well be a shipwreck, sinking in your fate
terrorized by the stormy skies now the waves won't hold your weight it's just too late
 
what a blurry bitter bond
what a quiet final bell
do i let go of holding on?
guess i might as well

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Verse: E A E B7 A E
Chorus: A E A E B7 A E

there i was driving fast past the desert windmill farms
couldn’t see energy in their lifeless heavy arms
never thought something so still could make me feel such an alarm
maybe my anxious observation made them nervous to perform
 
the outlaw sun had every one frozen like a stick-up
they were praying for momentum, wondering when the wind might pick up
the sharp scare of the dead air could surely cure a case of the hiccups
i’m still clicking both my heels but now the dust won’t even kick up
 
i didn’t know what to do, i didn’t know what to say
i didn’t wanna go but sure as hell didn’t wanna stay
can’t recall every moment but I’ll always know the the way
I felt in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day 
 
i slowed down near a truck stop town when something caught my sight
a cactus backed against the rocks, flexing for a fight
needles and pins pushing in and out with all their might
it looked thirsty, at the worst, it may not make it through the night
 
i felt sorry for that plant and the way it can’t give love
how should a cactus act when it’s offered a proper hug
of course i cared but wouldn’t dare to give it more than a sad shrug
i looked on the ground all around but never found my kid gloves
 
somewhere the weather’s not so hot and the ocean comes to play
otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift away
​but daughters cling to other things cause they’d drown if they stayed
i thought in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day

Verse: G Em
Chorus: G Bm Am D
​
I will pretend she is your friend
fantasy’s ideal for me
I will pretend she is your friend
reality is killing me
 
didn’t i say if you live this way
I will never approve?
didn’t I say if you live this way
god will take heaven from you?
didn't I say if you live this way
you’re turning your back on the truth?
thank god for unconditional love or how else
how could I make myself love a sinner like you?
 
didn’t you think about what I thought
did you not think about my belief?
didn’t you try to get by on a diet of guilt and grief?
didn’t you know the way you chose to grow?
now i can’t say I’m proud of how you grew
thank god for unconditional love or how else
could I make myself love a daughter like you?

Verse: Am C // Am (G) C E Am
Chorus: Dm Am Am (G) E // Dm Am C E Am
Bridge: F Am (end on E-E7)
​
you were a cunning magician
i was your lovely assistant
you locked me up in a box, you stuck your knives in the slots
just to hone your skill

you were a harry houdini
you really had me believing
that this was not a trick, that you were pure magic
that your sentiment was real

then poof, you were gone
i thought you had my back
oops, i was wrong
you're just another disappearing act

i was your little white rabbit
i was your creature of habit
you pulled me out of a hat, you put me back just like that
how quick you made the trade

you were a little illusion
you knew just what you were doing
you made it way too hard for me to pick a card
i should have known the queen of spades

bridge. funny how a slight of hand 
can go an ruin all your plans
funny how a magic wand
can just make you up and...

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i dreamt i went to a field with dandelions
i shout, come out and join me with sirens
and we blew til we were blue in the face
we wished for this: take us far from this place