i try not to compare
but the grass looks greener over there
i work hard, you do too
but what we both wanted only came to you

and i'm sending you all my well wishes
but the truth is, i'm jealous of you
yeah i'm jealous of you
yeah i'm jealous of you

i try not to be sad
just be grateful for all the things i have
i don't like to say it out loud
these green eyes don't make me proud

chorus

i try not to waste my time
picking sour grapes from the vine
just keep it moving it's all i can do
just wish i wasn't so jealous of you

​chorus

you had a big heart that bloomed like a flower
you had a smooth voice that sailed like a ship
you had a strong spine built like a tower
you had a sweet smile just like a kid’s
 
ever yours, ever mine
you taught me how to wait until the scar turns to a shine
ever green, ever blue
the color of my eyes now that they won't be seeing you
 
i had a hard time when you caught that fever
i had a long cry alone in my car
i had this pipe dream you'd live forever
i got this feeling you did not go far
 
ever mine, ever yours
our souls outlast the dusty bones of death and dinosaurs
ever long, evermore
on a scale of one to ten, my friend, i miss you 94

*pronouns changed from she to he in honor of my friend Jeffrey Joe who I lost the year I wrote this song

​everyone’s wearing black
everyone looks so sad
everyone can be seated now
everyone ends up dead
everyone bow your head
everyone remember
 
was there a time or two or three he had you laughing?
was he with you giving tissues when you cried?
was he the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind?
did he give you a good story for the day he died?
 
everyone goes to bed
everyone ends up dead
everyone will live another day
everyone still misses
everyone reminisces
everyone has something to say
 
was there a time or two or three he had you laughing?
was there a moment you just had to memorize?
was he the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind?
did he give you a good story for the day he died?

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right this way ma'am to the finish line
i was never in your lane, you were never in mine
do what you gotta do, girl go get that win
did you do it the right way?
honey let's not pretend
 
sometimes you must choose to lose with a shrug and a grin
 
come with me friend to the starting line
you know i got your back, i hope you still got mine
do what we gotta do to begin again
i won't fight for a prize but I'll fight for a friend 

​when the novel becomes a chapter
when the chapter becomes a line
when the story you’ve been chasing after
becomes once upon a time
 
tear it up and let it fly
tell it to somebody in the sky
punctured or punctuated by
the dot above the i
 
when a friendship becomes a footnote
when a hug becomes parentheses
when the story you thought you wrote
becomes whose words were these?

sit still, don't breathe
this is how you leave, you have been deceived
nostrils flare, scared eyes
you can't event cry, you are paralyzed
 
the fleeting fox, the hunting hound
chase each other around
was it real, or just pretend?
tell me this isn't all there is to being a friend
 
deceased, you feast
tell me how i taste at least
pursed lips, time drips
what a winning waste of a losing grip
 
detect, report
truth and lies distort, where's my life support
refuge, refugee
this is how you flee - showing no mercy 

​i've got a friend who thinks she's jesus
but only when she's starting to climb
if you take away the storm she's braving
i think she does enough saving on her own time
she don't need the divine
 
i've got a friend simply known as V to us
she gives music away for the joy that it brings
she lives beautiful verse after verse
and sometimes that chorus can hurt
but she's gonna play anyway
she's gonna sing
 
she's got a friend who'll stand in her corner
round after round swing after swing
i've seen some scary shit
but i'm not afraid of it
cause she gave that gift to me
 
i'm in a band with my friend veronica
sometimes she's in command
sometimes i tow the line
so V i'm gonna wait for you
in every single waiting room
i don't care how many times
cause time always takes time
 
i've got a friend
and she's got me

i used to cast my light like a net on the sea
when i came around you would shimmer for me
now my spotlight might be something you dread
like a jailbird ducking away or running ahead
 
is it just me or is the fog rolling in thicker
cause what used to beam now only seems to be a flicker
i might look good, i might seem strong
but you are wrong, i'm just stuck in the moss
tell me where should a lighthouse look when it's lost?
 
i used to take each wave with a grain of salt
thought the price of love was the pain of assault
now when the wind howls, i tower, irate
at the owl and the moon that i imitate
 
oh the brutal ache of phantom limbs
makes for futile shakes of your hands my friend
my armless body's head just spins
and i’m jealous of the seagull’s glide
i search for days less tall, more wide
oh a glow is just a glare with too much pride to die

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she ain't no ordinary mama,
she might like you a lot but not as much as drama
and you, you don't want no drama
she ain't no ordinary sister
she's going down and she wants to take you with her
and you, you're too smart to sink
 
you should stop giving swimming lessons,
that ain't your new profession
you don't owe her progression, that's what i think
 
she ain't no ordinary lover
she likes to be the victim; one day she will discover
you know love won't point the blame
she ain't no ordinary honey
erasing all her problems by spending daddy's money
and you know love don't cost a thing
 
i know you don't want to hear it
you're still not used to these words
until you're thinking clearly
let me tell you what i think you're worth
 
you ain't no ordinary lassie
you keep it kind, thoughtful and classy
and you have a heart that grows
 
you should start taking flying lessons
make that your new profession
you owe yourself progression, that's what i know