*Lyrics cowritten w/ Anna Ballew​

What do you want
Is it still me
Somewhere along the path
Desire turned to need
You say I'm crucial
I make it all work
I know I'm useful, babe
But so is dirt

It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away
I know you don't want to hear it
But it's all I want to say
It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away

What are you having
Drink's on me
It's been so long since decisions have been
Gifted and free
You call me the sunlight
I already know
Giving my energy til I give in
Then where do I go

It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away
I know you don't want to hear it
But it's all I want to say
It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away

Flood of attention
Your eyes are on me
You drown me in moments
We don't swim consistently
Tell me what you need
Ooh, that's what you say
But you hear what you want to hear
So crystal clear just turns to gray

It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away
I know you don't want to hear it
But it's all I want to say
It's like I'm disappearing
Fading away

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(second verse written by Becca Jay)

1. you would think
you could change
for yourself
i wouldn’t even have to ask you to
you would think
that the pain
in my eyes
would be reason enough
for you

you’re in my head
you’re out of my hands
and it breaks my heart
to watch you sink
you could change
for yourself
you would think

2. you would think
over time
you could let
a gentle current pull you
somewhere new
you would think
you could climb
to the top of this mountain
instead of waiting for it
to move

you’re in my head
you’re out of my hands
and it breaks my heart
to watch you sink
you could change
for yourself
you would think

br.
you would think i could turn away
you would think i would learn some day
but instead, instead, instead, instead...
​
you’re in my head
you’re out of my hands
and it breaks my heart
to watch you sink
you could change
for yourself
you would think

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*co-written with Veronica May (music)
​
i ran my sweaty palms through messy tangled hair
i was a nervous schoolgirl at the science fair
i smiled hard with extra teeth so i could hide the way
the lump in my throat despised this pile of paper mache
 
the project baffled me, worked hard as i projected
tinkered with chemistry, results were unexpected
i felt fear in safety goggles, couldn’t calculate the quote
maybe too much vinegar, maybe too much baking soda
 
my volcano
now she's holding her breath, she's swallowing her pride
my volcano
is a mountain of words that just got tongue-tied
my volcano
she's glorious, she's dangerous, she's dormant and she's still
my volcano
if you wait ten thousand years, she might just tell you how she feels
 
i press my legs to chest, my knees cradle my ear
i'm an anxious woman, stretching my neck toward mt. ranier
i whisper soft with extra air so she can hear me say
i feel you bubbling underneath, i feel it every day
 
i am no longer shocked by the lack of an eruption
one day i will know, but for now there's no relief in self-destruction
for birds are nesting in her nooks, and humans hike her trails i feel kinship with a mountain that chooses not to melt

DRUM VERSION HERE

*co-written with Veronica May
 
the echo of the past, it lingers in my ear
the rumble of the future, never here but ever near
it's ok to look back it's ok to look on
like the setting of suns and the breaking of dawns
 
but space can make you close
close can make you far
the place you're missing most
is right here where you are
 
the voices of the past, they speak but don't say much
the fingers of the future, reaching out without a touch
it's ok to react it’s ok to stay calm
like the flash of the sun on the horizon

*co-written with Veronica May

we are at the age, we're getting older, growing up
life is hard, life is scary, life is crazy
let's rewind the VHS tape back to a time
when things were easy, let me love you like the 80s
 
if times are hard, i've got your back
even when things get a little messy
you be kelly, i'll be zach or maybe slater to your jessie
doing it together, wearing matching sweaters
we're gonna do it our way
just like laverne and shirley or maybe bert and ernie
but not so inconspicuously gay

i'll love you no matter what
whether you are fat or if you're skinny
stomach full of butterflies
jets jackets and girly eyes
just like kevin and winnie
i don't mind, loving you's no crime
roger that, i'm your creature of habit
cartoon or not, you're smoking hot
just like jessica rabbit

*co-written with Veronica May
Verse: G Em C D
Chorus: Em Am C D
Bridge: ​Em C Am D

think we're safe now, the coast is clear
no more landmines to dance on dear
finally dry after it rained all year
rainbow sky smiles from ear to ear

at the end is where we will begin again
passing the test of time
riches without a dime
that's a real goldmine

think we're still now, the sea is calm
my heart is resting in your palm
slow and steady wins the race
cross the line, hand in hand, face to face

​triumph's not a trophy
or a pot of gold
it's waiting patiently
and watching life unfold

*co-written with Veronica May
 
the synapse fails to connect
i thought i was being direct
hope is slowly dying
but confusion's ever-growing
the neurons fire away
receptors aren't willing to play
what's the use in trying
always feels as though i'm throwing

words against the wall
you're not hearing them at all
now there's something that
you are missing
words against the wall
you're not hearing them at all
all i need was for you to listen
 
the brain and the heart won't shake hands
i never know where my arrow lands
days into years, you're reaping what you're sowing
i look in the mirror and i see you
genetic's pathetic attempt to show proof
am i ringing in your ears
always feels as though i'm throwing

*co-written with Veronica May
(in standard key - different than recording)
​Verse: ​C Am Dm G  // C Bb A Dm  G G7
Chorus: F C Am Em F // F C-B-Am Dm G C
Bridge: Em F Em F G // C E7 Am C // Dm D7 G G7
Last Chorus: F C Am Em F // F C-B-A7 Dm G C // Dm G C

somewhere out in Colorado upon the plains
thirty miles east of Denver where it barely rains
there's an old abandoned house down on fetzer st.
where music used to rise out of the ivory piano keys
flower patterned wallpaper withered all away
grandpa's black boots faded all to gray
closet full of dresses that grammy always wore
and a square cut in the carpet leading to cellar door

beyond the cellar door
the shelves are all reserved
for rows and rows of mason jars
filled up with preserves
the memories remain 
though life lives there no more
bottle up, just like the jam beyond the cellar door

grandpa played the fiddle though his fingers were too wide
mama sang with grammy side by side 
now the air is still and stale, the fiddle's in its case
ain't it sad how so much nothing can fill up so much space
seven in the morning, 1959
breakfast on the table, the house was in its prime
grandpa zips his black boots up to start his daily chores
while grammy places another jar beyond the cellar door
 
like the square cut in that carpet
there's two now in the ground
rows and rows just like those
just like any other town
i know my time will come
and i wonder what's in store
beyond this life
beyond the grave
beyond the cellar door

*co-written with Veronica May
 
she was born with big eyes, she was born with wild dreams
she was born with big love, bursting at the seams
she was born with hope, she was born with light
she was born to lose, she learned how to fight
 
but when you fall down 
200 pairs of hands will tell you don’t give up tonight
so in the next round, you’ll be back in the ring 
and we’ll be screamin fight baby fight

she’s a constellation, vast just like orion
grace just like a sparrow, courage like a lion

it’s not a fight to the end, it’s a fight to the start
it’s not a fight to the death, it’s a fight to the heart
and we’ll be screamin fight baby fight

*co-written with Veronica May

the first thing that i notice is the sunshine on her face
which leads me to her freckles looking like they're playing chase
her strong jawline, her lips to her eyes
which leads me to her midnight hair blowing through the sky

oh my, oh my, i feel sorry for the light
cause if her face is in the picture, nothing else catches my sight
oh my, oh my

i could spend the whole day smiling at this silly photograph
and the lengths she'll leap to for a little laugh
the frames can't tame her spirit's range, which explains why i feel
that her beauty can be captured but not caught dead standing still

oh my, oh my, this love is black and white
we know what to expect cause we've got the right effect
oh my, oh my

pressing flowers inside books, making melodies and hooks
reading pointless stories in bed
frisbee, jeopardy, laughing so damn hard you pee
these are the photographs flipping through my head

oh my, oh my, strolling the lane made up of time
P-I-C-T-U-R-Easily the best memory
oh my

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