Verse: E A B7 E
Chorus: A E A E // B7 A E

a little knievel, a little james dean
a little of your mama, a little mr. clean
a little love and laughter and kindness too
that’s what i think a lot about when i think of you
 
charismatic conor kent
ever since the accident
i've been wondering why you came and went so quickly
sometimes this world just don’t make sense
it gives and takes without consent
you were heaven-sent and i’m hell-bent on keeping you with me
my wrinkles they were worth it every last one
my dare-devil guardian angel son
 
a little country, a little hang ten
a little let loose, a little hardworking
a little adventure, a little smile too
that’s what i think a lot about when i think of you

Verse: E G#m F#m B
Chorus: E G#m A B // Cm B A Am

​i don’t want to pay a publicist to like me
i don’t want to ask a journalist to write nice things about me
i don’t want to beg my friends to come to my next show
i don’t want to paste my stupid face on stupid clothes
 
i just want to write a song that saves the world or pays my rent
when chasing your dreams turns to chasing your tail
you start asking yourself where the hell all the time went
 
i don’t want to shake a hand and fake my admiration
i don’t want to stoke or fan the flames of my frustration
i don’t want to envy when my friends enjoy successes
or provide for free bits of me just to see who it impresses
 
i don’t want to be negative i’ll quit my bellyaching
i don’t want to second guess my purpose or decision making
i don’t want the past or future to chase me up a tree
if i stay here in this moment, maybe my dreams might chase me

 ​i get to the point 
i'm sharp to the touch 
sometimes i'm out for blood 
it doesn't take much 
you're shockingly strong 
not as soft as you seem 
sometimes you are afraid 
but babe you can get through anything 

we are tied together sister 
we were born and bred and this time 
we will keep what we reap when we sow 
they don't know about this needle and thread 

i struggled alone 
got lost in the stack 
returned to my home 
i learned to attack 
you suffered enough
all tangled and spun 
we will not be caught 
stark naked when the winter comes 

there's a pillow i keep punching
i always take you lying down
there's a pill so hard to swallow
i have to hide it in my mouth
 
i'm sinking down the valley, can't find the surface
i'm fighting the finale, like a novice novelist
i'm pacing like Penelope, hope for my homecoming kiss
course there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this
 
there's a hole where i keep whispering
i always wonder if you hear
there's a hopeless place where i know best
but dear i don't dare to go near
 
i'm counting up the memories and the sacrifices
i'll spend them on you honey i don't care what the price is
i'm testing several theories hoping to prove the same thesis
but there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this
 
worry my mind, furrow my brow sweetheart
i'm sweating bullets sweating you out
how can i let you go when i still hope that hope exists
i know
there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this
still i just sit here hoping at a lonesome time like this

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face to the furnace, tears up in flames
i was the fodder, were you not entertained?
you heard it cracking, did you laugh at that sound?
fire is fuel when you're the hound
 
i've taken orders and i've contravened
i've saved the day, and i’ve fled the scene
i could care less about castles and crowns
power is pointless when you're the hound
 
just allow me to touch upon
the fact my knee was never bent
i used to have a nose for blood
but now it's gone i must have lost that scent
it's a wonder i've seen love at all
it must have been by accident
 
i've taken prisoners and i've been behind bars
i figure salvation is not without scars
face to the furnace, nose to the ground
fire is freedom when you're the hound

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is it a wall, is it a well, is it a building or a bridge?
sometimes it’s hard for me to tell what fucking structure even is
is it a snake in the grass, is it a flower in the weeds?
what does it take, what does it ask,
what does it give, what does it need?
 
what even is life?
just a place to live and die
find someone to love and say goodbye?
what even is life?
 
call me godless, call me faithless, call me a sinner, call me brainless
call me devil, call me rival, point to pages in your bible
preach of gold up in the heavens, warn of flames that burn in hell
go ahead, pretend to be an expert on shit you don’t know so well
 
what even is life?
just a car you don’t know how to drive
and you’ll never make it out alive?
what even is life?
 
is it kind of arbitrary but a little bit on purpose?
time is precious and it’s scary but it’s make-believe and worthless
are we ignorant, are we brilliant, are we fixed or are we fluid?
are we floating on forever, are we rotting where we’re rooted?

what even is life?
just a place that we call home
live together and die alone?
what even is life?

Verse: C F C G  (end on C)
Chorus: F C Am Em F G (end on C)

you had a big heart that bloomed like a flower
you had a smooth voice that sailed like a ship
you had a strong spine built like a tower
you had a sweet smile just like a kid’s
 
ever yours, ever mine
you taught me how to wait until the scar turns to a shine
ever green, ever blue
the color of my eyes now that they won't be seeing you
 
i had a hard time when you caught that fever
i had a long cry alone in my car
i had this pipe dream you'd live forever
i got this feeling you did not go far
 
ever mine, ever yours
our souls outlast the dusty bones of death and dinosaurs
ever long, evermore
on a scale of one to ten, my friend, i miss you 94

Chorus: Bm slide to D
Verse: Bm D // Bm A Bm C
​
don't overthink it, don't overdo it
sometimes it's good enough to get up and get through it
you don't have to kick every single wall down
sometimes it's good enough to get up and walk around
 
what's all this talk of getting on the saddle?
what's all this talk of climbing back on the horse?
what if the saddle's not compatible?
what if the horse threw you off your course?
what if the thing that you need currently
is to stop indulging worry so repeatedly?
question marks circle like sharks in your anxiety
but their fins are only figments of the swim you see
 
what's all this talk of persevering,
all this outrageous talk of getting ahead?
if persevering's too severe today,
it was courageous just to get out of bed
what if the thing that you need currently
is to stop indulging worry so repeatedly
question marks circle like sharks in your anxiety
but their fins are only figments of the swim you see 

when I'm naked as the truth and I'm lying next to you
i don't want your honor or your honesty
I don't need a crystal ball, in fact i don't need facts at all
when the night falls please uphold my policy
 
don't want to hear you bad news
darling spare me your goodbyes
i hate the sound of your hard truth
so lay me down in your soft lies
take your finest fabrications and spread 'em
corner to corner across my bed and
tomorrow we can rise from it but tonight won't you lie in it with me?
 
i can see your proof of burden staring at me, oh god it's hurting
to feel doubt about the one i love the most
and i know seeing is believing so let's just shut the blinds this evening and feel our way around this room with our eyes closed

*pronouns changed from she to he in honor of my friend Jeffrey Joe who I lost the year I wrote this song

​everyone’s wearing black
everyone looks so sad
everyone can be seated now
everyone ends up dead
everyone bow your head
everyone remember
 
was there a time or two or three he had you laughing?
was he with you giving tissues when you cried?
was he the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind?
did he give you a good story for the day he died?
 
everyone goes to bed
everyone ends up dead
everyone will live another day
everyone still misses
everyone reminisces
everyone has something to say
 
was there a time or two or three he had you laughing?
was there a moment you just had to memorize?
was he the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind?
did he give you a good story for the day he died?

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