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i clicked the link that said add one to the basket i didn’t think i’d be this young shopping for a casket the whole thing was pink with pretty little flowers to match it we watched it sink deep down in the grave that we paid for to stash it in a way, the day she died, i did a little too i’d have to say it was the day pink turned blue when she was alive i’d get lost on a dime, broke down like a car i tried to drive away so many times but never got too far now i believe she’s giving me signs, i see ‘em in the stars even though grief made me blind now i see her fine, she’s on my radar in a way, she gave me the map, the key, and the gasoline i’d have to say she’s paving the way for red to turn green
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a little knievel, a little james dean
a little of your mama, a little mr. clean a little love and laughter and kindness too that’s what i think a lot about when i think of you charismatic conor kent ever since the accident i've been wondering why you came and went so quickly sometimes this world just don’t make sense it gives and takes without consent you were heaven-sent and i’m hell-bent on keeping you with me my wrinkles they were worth it every last one my dare-devil guardian angel son a little country, a little hang ten a little let loose, a little hardworking a little adventure, a little smile too that’s what i think a lot about when i think of you is it a wall, is it a well, is it a building or a bridge? sometimes it’s hard for me to tell what fucking structure even is is it a snake in the grass, is it a flower in the weeds? what does it take, what does it ask, what does it give, what does it need? what even is life? just a place to live and die find someone to love and say goodbye? what even is life? call me godless, call me faithless, call me a sinner, call me brainless call me devil, call me rival, point to pages in your bible preach of gold up in the heavens, warn of flames that burn in hell go ahead, pretend to be an expert on shit you don’t know so well what even is life? just a car you don’t know how to drive and you’ll never make it out alive? what even is life? is it kind of arbitrary but a little bit on purpose? time is precious and it’s scary but it’s make-believe and worthless are we ignorant, are we brilliant, are we fixed or are we fluid? are we floating on forever, are we rotting where we’re rooted? what even is life? just a place that we call home live together and die alone? what even is life? you had a big heart that bloomed like a flower you had a smooth voice that sailed like a ship you had a strong spine built like a tower you had a sweet smile just like a kid’s ever yours, ever mine you taught me how to wait until the scar turns to a shine ever green, ever blue the color of my eyes now that they won't be seeing you i had a hard time when you caught that fever i had a long cry alone in my car i had this pipe dream you'd live forever i got this feeling you did not go far ever mine, ever yours our souls outlast the dusty bones of death and dinosaurs ever long, evermore on a scale of one to ten, my friend, i miss you 94 *pronouns changed from she to he in honor of my friend Jeffrey Joe who I lost the year I wrote this song everyone’s wearing black everyone looks so sad everyone can be seated now everyone ends up dead everyone bow your head everyone remember was there a time or two or three he had you laughing? was he with you giving tissues when you cried? was he the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind? did he give you a good story for the day he died? everyone goes to bed everyone ends up dead everyone will live another day everyone still misses everyone reminisces everyone has something to say was there a time or two or three he had you laughing? was there a moment you just had to memorize? was he the kind of kind worth photographing in your mind? did he give you a good story for the day he died? right this way ma'am to the finish line i was never in your lane, you were never in mine do what you gotta do, girl go get that win did you do it the right way? honey let's not pretend sometimes you must choose to lose with a shrug and a grin come with me friend to the starting line you know i got your back, i hope you still got mine do what we gotta do to begin again i won't fight for a prize but I'll fight for a friend i’ve got nothing left i can balance on that lady with the blindfold is gone her scale and her sword have nothing more to say it was just us then, it’s just me now where’s the justice in time running out i’m trying to transcend but it sinks further in every day so I keep company with well-known cons i’m confident they’re my confidants and the pros won’t speak to me they are prone to secrecy and i don’t know if I’ll ever get through it cause I’ve been the only one swearing them to it there’s no wisdom now, no prudence here if I’m reckless or cautious, i really don’t care this snake and this mirror just slithered nearer to prey i don’t feel courage and i’m not in control i can’t produce faith and i won’t be consoled and i’m losing all hope that i’ll ever know better todays
her life was a boxing ring
she never took off her gloves she never stopped swinging not even for love from the very first swing to the very last round she boxed her way in, she boxed her way out i never got too close, i never knew how everything's different with the lights out her faith was a lonely home she never took off from that place she never looked out the window not even to see my face from the very first brick to the very last grout she boxed her way in, she boxed her way out i never got too close, i never knew how everything's different with the lights out
i might as well be a shovel the way i bury hurt
dig a hole where the pain goes then i cover it with dirt i might as well be a faucet the way i handle pain let it run til the hurting's done, watch it circle down the drain til nothing remains ashes to ashes, dust to dust all my thoughts of us rot into rust i never got my last wish, you never came around you just vanished in the deep, dark, down you might as well be a stranger in some far off galaxy off you go in your ufo, ain't no way we're gonna meet you might as well be a shipwreck, sinking in your fate terrorized by the stormy skies now the waves won't hold your weight it's just too late what a blurry bitter bond what a quiet final bell do i let go of holding on? guess i might as well
she is a mother who gave me a father
her name is norma jean bill was a deacon after he quit drinking he married her when she was sixteen he moved her out west when the greatest depression chased them, they escaped by the skin of their teeth i watched him adore her, do everything for her he carried her purse, and he watched her sleep 64 times they circled sun til he shot off the earth like a rubber band gun her soul folded up like a thin paper plane waiting for takeoff to see him again the man of her dreams, the man in her dreams i’m a granddaughter who lost my grandfather my name is lindsay ann meaningless moments turn into memories he picked me up from school in a mercury sedan what I’ll most miss is the forehead kisses cause I grew up taller than my family tree he left me a lesson that kindness is best you can survive a hard life with no enemies 32 times we circled the sun til he shot off the earth like a rubber band gun i got no right to complain, no reason to cry he told me to relax, let the world go by the man of my dreams (repeat) the man in my dreams |
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