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(second verse written by Becca Jay)
1. you would think you could change for yourself i wouldn’t even have to ask you to you would think that the pain in my eyes would be reason enough for you you’re in my head you’re out of my hands and it breaks my heart to watch you sink you could change for yourself you would think 2. you would think over time you could let a gentle current pull you somewhere new you would think you could climb to the top of this mountain instead of waiting for it to move you’re in my head you’re out of my hands and it breaks my heart to watch you sink you could change for yourself you would think br. you would think i could turn away you would think i would learn some day but instead, instead, instead, instead... you’re in my head you’re out of my hands and it breaks my heart to watch you sink you could change for yourself you would think
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there's a pillow i keep punching i always take you lying down there's a pill so hard to swallow i have to hide it in my mouth i'm sinking down the valley, can't find the surface i'm fighting the finale, like a novice novelist i'm pacing like Penelope, hope for my homecoming kiss course there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this there's a hole where i keep whispering i always wonder if you hear there's a hopeless place where i know best but dear i don't dare to go near i'm counting up the memories and the sacrifices i'll spend them on you honey i don't care what the price is i'm testing several theories hoping to prove the same thesis but there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this worry my mind, furrow my brow sweetheart i'm sweating bullets sweating you out how can i let you go when i still hope that hope exists i know there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this still i just sit here hoping at a lonesome time like this when I'm naked as the truth and I'm lying next to you i don't want your honor or your honesty I don't need a crystal ball, in fact i don't need facts at all when the night falls please uphold my policy don't want to hear you bad news darling spare me your goodbyes i hate the sound of your hard truth so lay me down in your soft lies take your finest fabrications and spread 'em corner to corner across my bed and tomorrow we can rise from it but tonight won't you lie in it with me? i can see your proof of burden staring at me, oh god it's hurting to feel doubt about the one i love the most and i know seeing is believing so let's just shut the blinds this evening and feel our way around this room with our eyes closed sit still, don't breathe this is how you leave, you have been deceived nostrils flare, scared eyes you can't event cry, you are paralyzed the fleeting fox, the hunting hound chase each other around was it real, or just pretend? tell me this isn't all there is to being a friend deceased, you feast tell me how i taste at least pursed lips, time drips what a winning waste of a losing grip detect, report truth and lies distort, where's my life support refuge, refugee this is how you flee - showing no mercy
i might as well be a shovel the way i bury hurt
dig a hole where the pain goes then i cover it with dirt i might as well be a faucet the way i handle pain let it run til the hurting's done, watch it circle down the drain til nothing remains ashes to ashes, dust to dust all my thoughts of us rot into rust i never got my last wish, you never came around you just vanished in the deep, dark, down you might as well be a stranger in some far off galaxy off you go in your ufo, ain't no way we're gonna meet you might as well be a shipwreck, sinking in your fate terrorized by the stormy skies now the waves won't hold your weight it's just too late what a blurry bitter bond what a quiet final bell do i let go of holding on? guess i might as well all these needles all in vain when will sleep come to numb the pain cut it off so it won't bleed how does one try not to need i'm learning how to roll with it the tightening of the tourniquet no blood supply i'm used to it i'll die trying loosen the grip all these things I saw explain the rubber mouth and stubborn jaw circulatory system breech what kind of wave resists the beach it wasn't my plan i didn't mean no harm oh well who needs a hand who needs a loving arm I will pretend she is your friend fantasy’s ideal for me I will pretend she is your friend reality is killing me didn’t i say if you live this way I will never approve? didn’t I say if you live this way god will take heaven from you? didn't I say if you live this way you’re turning your back on the truth? thank god for unconditional love or how else how could I make myself love a sinner like you? didn’t you think about what I thought did you not think about my belief? didn’t you try to get by on a diet of guilt and grief? didn’t you know the way you chose to grow? now i can’t say I’m proud of how you grew thank god for unconditional love or how else could I make myself love a daughter like you? the doctor took a photograph, she wore a hospital gown he explained that her brain was trying to take her down they quieted the cancer, they tightened her screws i took a tongue depressor, i took the abuse someone should warn the surgeon he’s not alone her mind’s a clenched fist with a sharp knife of its own it’s hard to feel light in a waiting room of whispers i sleep heavy every night. something's wrong with this picture i stare at the negative, go to the darkest places who are these strangers, i can’t make out their faces as far as i can see, now as far as i can tell my life’s an empty frame, shaking crooked on a nail the police took a photograph just outside of town of his truck and his luck and his wife and his life turned upside down emergency rooms now a stain in my head i leapt for the living there, i wept for the dead who could have warned the wind, that the heavens would steal the air? what god would pound this gavel, leave a family in despair? it’s hard to hear the love in self-serving scripture i sleep heavy every night. something's wrong with this picture inside your kitchen i saw my ghost trying to get me wishing i was making toast she took out my mug poured me a drink pointed at my rings still by the sink i asked her why it's here she dwells but she really could not say i said goodbye, i wished her well and I went willing on my way inside your parlor i saw my spirit playing your guitar, she wanted me to hear it she asked me to sit on chairs i own she played my records on the gramophone i asked her why it's here she dwells she said well someone had to stay i said goodbye, i wished her well and i went willing on my way and where you sleep my phantasm soul was praying to keep you safe and whole the room is small but it's changed the most she don't need you here, i told my ghost i asked her when she planned to go she said when someone sets me free i said my friend, go get your coat you are coming home with me a burn in my chest, the end in my sight adding fuel to a fire I never could ignite you brought the can you spilled the gas i brought the book i struck the match we threw it down we watched the ground around us catching fire it got so hot we felt like dying we stood still til the sparks quit flying you could call it hard but you'd be preaching to the pyre smoke in my lungs, ash in my eye a billowing ache, a bellowing cry |
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