Lyrics:
1. i've cried onto a casket
i've seen the scenes and seasons change
i've spread my share of ashes
over the ocean and down the drain
i spilled on you my secrets
i drew upon you all my dreams
each night listening to crickets
sing their song til morning

CH:
ooooh...

2. mother nature's coming at me
speeding down a westbound track
hanging out a boxcar swinging
a slow motion baseball bat
my highest hopes for you just showed up
crashing the party of my guard
and i know whatever goes up
is coming down, baby, twice as hard

CH

3. i'm angry at my worst
i'm struggling at my best
to find words to fit this verse
for what's happening in my chest
of course i should have seen this coming
i should have never picked your name
like a River, life keeps running
washing away what never came

CH

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(second verse written by Becca Jay)

1. you would think
you could change
for yourself
i wouldn’t even have to ask you to
you would think
that the pain
in my eyes
would be reason enough
for you

you’re in my head
you’re out of my hands
and it breaks my heart
to watch you sink
you could change
for yourself
you would think

2. you would think
over time
you could let
a gentle current pull you
somewhere new
you would think
you could climb
to the top of this mountain
instead of waiting for it
to move

you’re in my head
you’re out of my hands
and it breaks my heart
to watch you sink
you could change
for yourself
you would think

br.
you would think i could turn away
you would think i would learn some day
but instead, instead, instead, instead...
​
you’re in my head
you’re out of my hands
and it breaks my heart
to watch you sink
you could change
for yourself
you would think

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there's a pillow i keep punching
i always take you lying down
there's a pill so hard to swallow
i have to hide it in my mouth
 
i'm sinking down the valley, can't find the surface
i'm fighting the finale, like a novice novelist
i'm pacing like Penelope, hope for my homecoming kiss
course there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this
 
there's a hole where i keep whispering
i always wonder if you hear
there's a hopeless place where i know best
but dear i don't dare to go near
 
i'm counting up the memories and the sacrifices
i'll spend them on you honey i don't care what the price is
i'm testing several theories hoping to prove the same thesis
but there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this
 
worry my mind, furrow my brow sweetheart
i'm sweating bullets sweating you out
how can i let you go when i still hope that hope exists
i know
there's nothing worse than hoping at a lonesome time like this
still i just sit here hoping at a lonesome time like this

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when I'm naked as the truth and I'm lying next to you
i don't want your honor or your honesty
I don't need a crystal ball, in fact i don't need facts at all
when the night falls please uphold my policy
 
don't want to hear you bad news
darling spare me your goodbyes
i hate the sound of your hard truth
so lay me down in your soft lies
take your finest fabrications and spread 'em
corner to corner across my bed and
tomorrow we can rise from it but tonight won't you lie in it with me?
 
i can see your proof of burden staring at me, oh god it's hurting
to feel doubt about the one i love the most
and i know seeing is believing so let's just shut the blinds this evening and feel our way around this room with our eyes closed

Verse: E B A E
Chorus: A Am E // B A E
​
sit still, don't breathe
this is how you leave, you have been deceived
nostrils flare, scared eyes
you can't event cry, you are paralyzed
 
the fleeting fox, the hunting hound
chase each other around
was it real, or just pretend?
tell me this isn't all there is to being a friend
 
deceased, you feast
tell me how i taste at least
pursed lips, time drips
what a winning waste of a losing grip
 
detect, report
truth and lies distort, where's my life support
refuge, refugee
this is how you flee - showing no mercy 

Verse: C Em Dm C G
Chorus: C Dm F Fm C
Bridge: F Fm C // F Fm Em Dm C G

i might as well be a shovel the way i bury hurt
dig a hole where the pain goes then i cover it with dirt
i might as well be a faucet the way i handle pain
let it run til the hurting's done, watch it circle down the drain
til nothing remains
 
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
all my thoughts of us rot into rust
i never got my last wish, you never came around
you just vanished in the deep, dark, down
 
you might as well be a stranger in some far off galaxy
off you go in your ufo, ain't no way we're gonna meet
you might as well be a shipwreck, sinking in your fate
terrorized by the stormy skies now the waves won't hold your weight it's just too late
 
what a blurry bitter bond
what a quiet final bell
do i let go of holding on?
guess i might as well

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all these needles all in vain
when will sleep come to numb the pain
cut it off so it won't bleed
how does one try not to need
 
i'm learning how to roll with it
the tightening of the tourniquet
no blood supply i'm used to it
i'll die trying loosen the grip
 
all these things I saw
explain the rubber mouth and stubborn jaw
circulatory system breech
what kind of wave resists the beach
 
it wasn't my plan
i didn't mean no harm
oh well who needs a hand
who needs a loving arm

Verse: G Em
Chorus: G Bm Am D
​
I will pretend she is your friend
fantasy’s ideal for me
I will pretend she is your friend
reality is killing me
 
didn’t i say if you live this way
I will never approve?
didn’t I say if you live this way
god will take heaven from you?
didn't I say if you live this way
you’re turning your back on the truth?
thank god for unconditional love or how else
how could I make myself love a sinner like you?
 
didn’t you think about what I thought
did you not think about my belief?
didn’t you try to get by on a diet of guilt and grief?
didn’t you know the way you chose to grow?
now i can’t say I’m proud of how you grew
thank god for unconditional love or how else
could I make myself love a daughter like you?

Capo on 1, chord shapes:
Verse: Em C D
Chorus: Em C D B7

the doctor took a photograph, she wore a hospital gown
he explained that her brain was trying to take her down
they quieted the cancer, they tightened her screws
i took a tongue depressor, i took the abuse
 
someone should warn the surgeon he’s not alone
her mind’s a clenched fist with a sharp knife of its own
it’s hard to feel light in a waiting room of whispers
i sleep heavy every night. something's wrong with this picture
 
i stare at the negative, go to the darkest places
who are these strangers, i can’t make out their faces
as far as i can see, now as far as i can tell
my life’s an empty frame, shaking crooked on a nail
 
the police took a photograph just outside of town
of his truck and his luck and his wife and his life turned upside down
emergency rooms now a stain in my head
i leapt for the living there, i wept for the dead
 
who could have warned the wind, that the heavens would steal the air?
what god would pound this gavel, leave a family in despair?
it’s hard to hear the love in self-serving scripture
i sleep heavy every night. something's wrong with this picture

​inside your kitchen i saw my ghost
trying to get me wishing i was making toast
she took out my mug poured me a drink
pointed at my rings still by the sink
i asked her why it's here she dwells
but she really could not say
i said goodbye, i wished her well
and I went willing on my way
 
inside your parlor i saw my spirit
playing your guitar, she wanted me to hear it
she asked me to sit on chairs i own
she played my records on the gramophone
i asked her why it's here she dwells
she said well someone had to stay
i said goodbye, i wished her well
and i went willing on my way
 
and where you sleep my phantasm soul
was praying to keep you safe and whole
the room is small but it's changed the most
she don't need you here, i told my ghost
i asked her when she planned to go
she said when someone sets me free
i said my friend, go get your coat
you are coming home with me