you’re the sugar coat on a bitter pill
you’re the place i go in a earthquake drill
you will walk to the porch with a bat in your hand
so i don’t have to look at the boogeyman
you flash all of the light underneath my bed
and the monsters have not found me yet
 
but they found you, they surround you
look around you, yeah they found you
 
you’re the softest nest in the highest tree
you’re a needed kiss on a wounded knee
you crack open a cactus with your bare hands
so i don’t die of thirst in a desert land
you rip all of the targets right off my head
and the arrows have not got me yet
 
but they got you, yeah they shot you
an onslaught into you, yeah they got you
 
you’re a little bird with a lion’s mane
your dreams deferred in a weathervane
i will scour the depths and the breadth of the sea
and collect all the joy that you gave up for me
to the queen with her crown i will coronate
i will bow at the feet of my surrogate
 
i will praise you, cause you raised me
my grace traced to you, thank you haley 

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Verse: C Em Dm C G
Chorus: C Dm F Fm C
Bridge: F Fm C // F Fm Em Dm C G

i might as well be a shovel the way i bury hurt
dig a hole where the pain goes then i cover it with dirt
i might as well be a faucet the way i handle pain
let it run til the hurting's done, watch it circle down the drain
til nothing remains
 
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
all my thoughts of us rot into rust
i never got my last wish, you never came around
you just vanished in the deep, dark, down
 
you might as well be a stranger in some far off galaxy
off you go in your ufo, ain't no way we're gonna meet
you might as well be a shipwreck, sinking in your fate
terrorized by the stormy skies now the waves won't hold your weight it's just too late
 
what a blurry bitter bond
what a quiet final bell
do i let go of holding on?
guess i might as well

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she is a mother who gave me a father
her name is norma jean
bill was a deacon after he quit drinking
he married her when she was sixteen
he moved her out west when the greatest depression
chased them, they escaped by the skin of their teeth
i watched him adore her, do everything for her
he carried her purse, and he watched her sleep
 
64 times they circled sun til he shot off the earth
like a rubber band gun
her soul folded up like a thin paper plane
waiting for takeoff to see him again
the man of her dreams, the man in her dreams
 
i’m a granddaughter who lost my grandfather
my name is lindsay ann
meaningless moments turn into memories
he picked me up from school in a mercury sedan
what I’ll most miss is the forehead kisses
cause I grew up taller than my family tree
he left me a lesson that kindness is best you can
survive a hard life with no enemies
 
32 times we circled the sun til he shot off the earth
like a rubber band gun i got
no right to complain, no reason to cry
he told me to relax, let the world go by
the man of my dreams (repeat)
the man in my dreams

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hope springs eternal
or so i've been told
but i know it's terminal
even hope gets sick, gets old
oh faith you fickle friend
you bargain and seduce
disguised like a goddamn godsend
just pretended to know the truth
 
if it was lies why have I been
holding all my breath in
waiting for the big exhale
i guess there comes a time to say goodbye to
throwing pennies in a wishing well
 
they say you can’t miss what you never had
here’s my objection
i’ll never miss something half as bad
as relying on the lie of reconnection
hope keeps a journal
but words are cannon fodder
grim reaps maternal
grim reaps daughter

all these needles all in vain
when will sleep come to numb the pain
cut it off so it won't bleed
how does one try not to need
 
i'm learning how to roll with it
the tightening of the tourniquet
no blood supply i'm used to it
i'll die trying loosen the grip
 
all these things I saw
explain the rubber mouth and stubborn jaw
circulatory system breech
what kind of wave resists the beach
 
it wasn't my plan
i didn't mean no harm
oh well who needs a hand
who needs a loving arm

Capo 4 shapes:
Verse: Em C Em (end on D)
Chorus: Em D A
Bridge: C G C G // (but I'm a) Em C D // (heads and birds) C D A Em (end on D)

father hear my pleas, don’t make me scrape my knees
even diogenes, he agrees with me
a syndrome of self neglect is the sin of intellect
holding lanterns to the light is no necessity
 
what good is a god with the head of a falcon
that lives on the body of man?
what sense is the strength of a thoroughbred stallion
running like a scared mare every chance that it can?
what comfort lies in millions of lives
if they’re over before they began?
sometimes it shapes me, sometimes it escapes me
the good of a god in the body of man
 
father hear my cries, i’m not buying alibis
your books so wise disguise the valleys for the peaks
if all your world’s a page you’ll never take the stage
baby steps assuage the magnitude of quantum leaps
 
heaven knows i’m also froze and apples don’t fall far
trust me, any day’s a good day in the shade of where you are
but i’m a prudent teacher’s student and I'm just trying to understand
heads and birds, actions and words
and the good of a god in the body of man

Verse: E A E B7 A E
Chorus: A E A E B7 A E

there i was driving fast past the desert windmill farms
couldn’t see energy in their lifeless heavy arms
never thought something so still could make me feel such an alarm
maybe my anxious observation made them nervous to perform
 
the outlaw sun had every one frozen like a stick-up
they were praying for momentum, wondering when the wind might pick up
the sharp scare of the dead air could surely cure a case of the hiccups
i’m still clicking both my heels but now the dust won’t even kick up
 
i didn’t know what to do, i didn’t know what to say
i didn’t wanna go but sure as hell didn’t wanna stay
can’t recall every moment but I’ll always know the the way
I felt in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day 
 
i slowed down near a truck stop town when something caught my sight
a cactus backed against the rocks, flexing for a fight
needles and pins pushing in and out with all their might
it looked thirsty, at the worst, it may not make it through the night
 
i felt sorry for that plant and the way it can’t give love
how should a cactus act when it’s offered a proper hug
of course i cared but wouldn’t dare to give it more than a sad shrug
i looked on the ground all around but never found my kid gloves
 
somewhere the weather’s not so hot and the ocean comes to play
otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift away
​but daughters cling to other things cause they’d drown if they stayed
i thought in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day

Verse: G Em
Chorus: G Bm Am D
​
I will pretend she is your friend
fantasy’s ideal for me
I will pretend she is your friend
reality is killing me
 
didn’t i say if you live this way
I will never approve?
didn’t I say if you live this way
god will take heaven from you?
didn't I say if you live this way
you’re turning your back on the truth?
thank god for unconditional love or how else
how could I make myself love a sinner like you?
 
didn’t you think about what I thought
did you not think about my belief?
didn’t you try to get by on a diet of guilt and grief?
didn’t you know the way you chose to grow?
now i can’t say I’m proud of how you grew
thank god for unconditional love or how else
could I make myself love a daughter like you?

Capo on 1, chord shapes:
Verse: Em C D
Chorus: Em C D B7

the doctor took a photograph, she wore a hospital gown
he explained that her brain was trying to take her down
they quieted the cancer, they tightened her screws
i took a tongue depressor, i took the abuse
 
someone should warn the surgeon he’s not alone
her mind’s a clenched fist with a sharp knife of its own
it’s hard to feel light in a waiting room of whispers
i sleep heavy every night. something's wrong with this picture
 
i stare at the negative, go to the darkest places
who are these strangers, i can’t make out their faces
as far as i can see, now as far as i can tell
my life’s an empty frame, shaking crooked on a nail
 
the police took a photograph just outside of town
of his truck and his luck and his wife and his life turned upside down
emergency rooms now a stain in my head
i leapt for the living there, i wept for the dead
 
who could have warned the wind, that the heavens would steal the air?
what god would pound this gavel, leave a family in despair?
it’s hard to hear the love in self-serving scripture
i sleep heavy every night. something's wrong with this picture

she wants to be vetted
but she fails the exam
she loves being petted
but she bites with poison glands
 
she just let it all fall through her hands
i know where she’s headed
face down, quicksand
 
she wants to take credit
but she sinks where she stands
she’d rather be shredded
than tear up “god’s plan”