Verse: C Em Dm C G
Chorus: C Dm F Fm C
Bridge: F Fm C // F Fm Em Dm C G

i might as well be a shovel the way i bury hurt
dig a hole where the pain goes then i cover it with dirt
i might as well be a faucet the way i handle pain
let it run til the hurting's done, watch it circle down the drain
til nothing remains
 
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
all my thoughts of us rot into rust
i never got my last wish, you never came around
you just vanished in the deep, dark, down
 
you might as well be a stranger in some far off galaxy
off you go in your ufo, ain't no way we're gonna meet
you might as well be a shipwreck, sinking in your fate
terrorized by the stormy skies now the waves won't hold your weight it's just too late
 
what a blurry bitter bond
what a quiet final bell
do i let go of holding on?
guess i might as well

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here comes the bride all dressed in white
and the biggest grin anyone's ever seen her wearing,
it's a million miles wide
a couple empty chairs cause you're not there
but she's brave enough to pass them up
because she knows love's waiting for her on the other side
 
you won't see her smile on her wedding day
walk her down the aisle, give her away
you won't know her joy, hear her vow
i am not a boy
that changes things somehow
 
here comes the bride, still quite surprised
that the woman waiting for me just so happens to adore me
and she wants to be my wife
those empty chairs, they're hard to bear
but there's love in the air and I'm still going to swear
to love her for the rest of her life
 
love is louder than any silencing
i am not a boy, and that don't change a thing

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hope springs eternal
or so i've been told
but i know it's terminal
even hope gets sick, gets old
oh faith you fickle friend
you bargain and seduce
disguised like a goddamn godsend
just pretended to know the truth
 
if it was lies why have I been
holding all my breath in
waiting for the big exhale
i guess there comes a time to say goodbye to
throwing pennies in a wishing well
 
they say you can’t miss what you never had
here’s my objection
i’ll never miss something half as bad
as relying on the lie of reconnection
hope keeps a journal
but words are cannon fodder
grim reaps maternal
grim reaps daughter

all these needles all in vain
when will sleep come to numb the pain
cut it off so it won't bleed
how does one try not to need
 
i'm learning how to roll with it
the tightening of the tourniquet
no blood supply i'm used to it
i'll die trying loosen the grip
 
all these things I saw
explain the rubber mouth and stubborn jaw
circulatory system breech
what kind of wave resists the beach
 
it wasn't my plan
i didn't mean no harm
oh well who needs a hand
who needs a loving arm

Verse: E A E B7 A E
Chorus: A E A E B7 A E

there i was driving fast past the desert windmill farms
couldn’t see energy in their lifeless heavy arms
never thought something so still could make me feel such an alarm
maybe my anxious observation made them nervous to perform
 
the outlaw sun had every one frozen like a stick-up
they were praying for momentum, wondering when the wind might pick up
the sharp scare of the dead air could surely cure a case of the hiccups
i’m still clicking both my heels but now the dust won’t even kick up
 
i didn’t know what to do, i didn’t know what to say
i didn’t wanna go but sure as hell didn’t wanna stay
can’t recall every moment but I’ll always know the the way
I felt in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day 
 
i slowed down near a truck stop town when something caught my sight
a cactus backed against the rocks, flexing for a fight
needles and pins pushing in and out with all their might
it looked thirsty, at the worst, it may not make it through the night
 
i felt sorry for that plant and the way it can’t give love
how should a cactus act when it’s offered a proper hug
of course i cared but wouldn’t dare to give it more than a sad shrug
i looked on the ground all around but never found my kid gloves
 
somewhere the weather’s not so hot and the ocean comes to play
otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift away
​but daughters cling to other things cause they’d drown if they stayed
i thought in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day

Verse: G Em
Chorus: G Bm Am D
​
I will pretend she is your friend
fantasy’s ideal for me
I will pretend she is your friend
reality is killing me
 
didn’t i say if you live this way
I will never approve?
didn’t I say if you live this way
god will take heaven from you?
didn't I say if you live this way
you’re turning your back on the truth?
thank god for unconditional love or how else
how could I make myself love a sinner like you?
 
didn’t you think about what I thought
did you not think about my belief?
didn’t you try to get by on a diet of guilt and grief?
didn’t you know the way you chose to grow?
now i can’t say I’m proud of how you grew
thank god for unconditional love or how else
could I make myself love a daughter like you?

she wants to be vetted
but she fails the exam
she loves being petted
but she bites with poison glands
 
she just let it all fall through her hands
i know where she’s headed
face down, quicksand
 
she wants to take credit
but she sinks where she stands
she’d rather be shredded
than tear up “god’s plan” 

*co-written with Veronica May
 
the synapse fails to connect
i thought i was being direct
hope is slowly dying
but confusion's ever-growing
the neurons fire away
receptors aren't willing to play
what's the use in trying
always feels as though i'm throwing

words against the wall
you're not hearing them at all
now there's something that
you are missing
words against the wall
you're not hearing them at all
all i need was for you to listen
 
the brain and the heart won't shake hands
i never know where my arrow lands
days into years, you're reaping what you're sowing
i look in the mirror and i see you
genetic's pathetic attempt to show proof
am i ringing in your ears
always feels as though i'm throwing

*co-written with Veronica May
 
she was born with big eyes, she was born with wild dreams
she was born with big love, bursting at the seams
she was born with hope, she was born with light
she was born to lose, she learned how to fight
 
but when you fall down 
200 pairs of hands will tell you don’t give up tonight
so in the next round, you’ll be back in the ring 
and we’ll be screamin fight baby fight

she’s a constellation, vast just like orion
grace just like a sparrow, courage like a lion

it’s not a fight to the end, it’s a fight to the start
it’s not a fight to the death, it’s a fight to the heart
and we’ll be screamin fight baby fight

*co-written with Veronica May
Verse: root G F#m F Em
Chorus: C D Em // (even if forever... F pass through E to G)
Bridge: same as verse
 
i daydream of the day when you say dear, i'm sorry
cause i remember more than you could know
nightmares turn to tangible truths and i remember
that no one feels safe around you

i never wanted to say the word never (never)
but sometimes something's got to change somehow (ooh)
it hurts me but i have to say forever (it's better)
even if forever is for now

 i daydream of the day when i can say mom, i'm pregnant
cause i remember fondly you're fond of children
but dreams turn into nightmares when i remember
no child will you love more than (your child is a piece of) God

forgiveness, come find me soon
protection do the same
traveling through the brain and heart
but it arrives in the same vein